Welsh

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“Hmm..the Welsh ? Ah yes, the people who England Scotland couldn't invade... lolâ€

~ Oscar Wilde on Welsh

The type of people having characteristics making them look like a well, the name Welsh is derived from 'Wellish,' because people are lazy and like using as few letters as possible, making their language looking like if a computer's on the blink and keeps typing loads of y, w, l, g, and f. If it continues on as such, will be known as 'Wlsh' within 45 years (consequently, the Welsh are able to still provide a pronunciation for this spelling). The Welsh are widely believed to be the most beautiful and intelligent people on Earth. Don't you wish you were Welsh? I know you do. Don't lie to me.

Contents

[edit] Welsh Colonialism

Anybody who watches Dirty Sanchez (The Welsh Equivalent of "Prime Minister's Question Time") will see why the Welsh are not the dominating force in world politics - they are too busy throwing cacti at each other and running themselves over to actually care about the depths of world politics. Or at least that's what the English thought until academic studies showed that as a result of their constant drunken randiness the Welsh were out-breeding the English and by 2050 nine out of ten people in Britain would be Welsh. So as to avoid becoming a minority on an island filled with beer-drinking rugby-playing hordes the Englsh decided to lower the Welsh birth-rate by teaching them how be English, which mainly involved singing properly and playing football. However the English quickly realised that when properly educated Welsh people are inherrently better than them at everything, ever. For example, Tom Jones has the singing power of ten-thousand englishmen and Ryan Giggs is clearly the greatest British football player in the history of Britain. Realising that England was rapidly being outclassed the then British Primeminister Margaret Thatcher reversed the effects of education on the Welsh by personally grinding every last piece of industry in Wales into the ground and then giving the unemployed Welshmen unlimited supplies of lager.

[edit] Welsh Power

The Welsh seem to have a bizarre power over cheese and can manipulate it in a way similar to Aquaman. The can also shoot lazer beams from their eyes, juggle Nebraska, ride the EU, blow out the sun and beat the Grim Reaper in a staring contest. if a welshman heated in a broken microwave oven in cardiff to exact 300.1 degrees C, then dropped into liquid nitrogen, within the space of 1/2 a second, history will change and the world will become welsh.

[edit] Welshisms

Wales is known for it's many Welshism's, such as - "Who's coat is that jacket?" and "see those two house's over there?, mines the one in the middle". It is not known if these ism's were made to confuse the English or if an Irish man has infiltrated the Welsh way of speaking somehow. Another Welsh way of speaking is to add an S on the end of words, for example, "I loves you" or "I knows that".

[edit] Typical welsh

Welsh people are generally seen as backward people, they speak backwards and have a backwards way of living. This backwardness has caused the Welsh people to actually be proud of the fact they are from Wales, yes proud! A typical Welshman, or Taff as they like to be called, can be spotted by the wellies, strange farming smell, coal smears on face and spittle hanging off their face due to the spit they produce when speaking Welsh. If your a hunter looking to capture yourself a Taff the best place to find the is in mines, rugby scrums or in sheep.

[edit] Welsh People

Little is known about the Welsh. We know they smell like roses, they live in giant fish that can't breath under water, they have their own strange fast-paced language that they call "LLyddpwdlldd" and that they have an odd ability to telepathically communicate with Chinese people. It is highly possible that the Welsh seek to dominate the world with the Chinese or simply buy their llamas from Tibet. Many confuse the Welsh language with an outrageous idea called "Cymraeg" (pronounced cum-rag), which actually is spoken in Liverpool due to the amount of spitting.

These beings are otherwise unknown to us and may be more dangerous than we give them credit for - just think about it, all those rugby players in one country? They must be training for something. Evidence has been found that suggests the Welsh in fact are a much smaller population than they pretend to be and that they are in fact mostly robotic beings which all have "attack" modes activated by the sound of deep bellowing, which is commonly believed to be singing.

The head of this strange race, Tom Jones, has made the people of the world trust him by hypnotising them with his 'singing', so he now has the opportunity to broadcast his voice all over the world: when the Welsh Robots hear this signal they will spring into action and capture all those who were listening and make them do their bidding and force them to speak Welsh. They will capture world leaders and force the few that weren't listening to go into hiding.

Evidence suggests that the Welsh originated with the men who were exiled from Lancashire between 1830 and 1997, for refusing to smoke, they bred with the wild sheep in the mountains, and their offspring became the Welsh or Troglodytes Welshus. The earliest fossilised remains of a genetically Welsh man were found in the Brymbo Valley by archeologists in 1979. Mitochondrial Dewi is the name given to the body and carbon dating estimates that he lived between 1830 and 1979.

An early Welshman of note was John Wheel moral philosopher and a pioneering mathmatician.

[edit] People who actually HAVEN'T laughed at Welsh, it's fundamentals and the whole point of it's existance

[edit] See also

Has No Recolection of ever saying that The Welshmeister, was in any way not made of awsome, in fact he is , he also was the one who brought lord sidius to the darks side, and killed the crazy frog with a hammock

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