Welshification
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Welshification is the process of becoming a welshman. It is not to be confused with Whaleification, the process of spontaneously turning into a whale.
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[edit] Cause
The cause of Welshification is spending time in Wales. Normally the the sufferer must spend at least one, usually two years in Wales but the process can happen in a matter of days. For example, during the 1998 Autumn Internationals the entire New Zealand Rugby Team turned into welshmen (although the Welsh Team won the game 10-3 the game was later awarded to New Zealand after drugs tests confirmed that all the New Zealand players were Welsh, meaning the Welsh team had twice the legal number of men on the pitch).
[edit] Symtpons
The first symtpons of Welshification include an excess of phlem production when speaking and the inability to use vowels in speech.
Many victims are diagonsed at this stage when relatives or friends notice them taking all of the vowels out of their alphabeti spaghetti or from the fridge magnets arranged in humourous phrases on the fridge door.
Advanced symptons of the infliction are sexual preferance towards sheep or, more worryingly, Charlotte Church.
[edit] Cure
The only cure for Welshification is a full frontal loboctomy.
Although this is the currently accepted medical treatment for the condition many members of the public as well as a small number of medical professions hold ethical objects to this treatment.
These people argue that it is kinder to allow the sufferes to remain Welsh, and to let them roam free in the valleys.
[edit] Number of Cases
The NHS used to report around twenty confirmed cases of Welshification a year. However this figure shot up dramatically to around sixty cases a year in 1973 with the invention of the bridge. This figure continued to rise with a peak last year of sixty eight confirmed cases.
