Welsh

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“Hmm..the Welsh ? Ah yes, the people who England Scotland couldn't invade... lol, oh hang on a minute, Wales has been a principality of England for 700 years hasn't it?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Welsh

The type of people having characteristics making them look like a well, the name Welsh is derived from 'Wellish,' because people are lazy and like using as few letters as possible, making their language looking like if a computer's on the blink and keeps typing loads of y, w, l, g, and f. If it continues on as such, will be known as 'Wlsh' within 45 years (consequently, the Welsh are able to still provide a pronunciation for this spelling). The Welsh are widely believed to be the most beautiful and intelligent people on Earth. Don't you wish you were Welsh? I know you do. Don't lie to me.

Contents

[edit] Welsh Colonialism

Anybody who watches Dirty Sanchez (The Welsh Equivalent of "Prime Minister's Question Time") will see why the Welsh are not the dominating force in world politics - they are too busy throwing cacti at each other and running themselves over to actually care about the depths of world politics. Or at least that's what the English thought until academic studies showed that as a result of their constant drunken randiness the Welsh were out-breeding the English and by 2050 nine out of ten people in Britain would be Welsh. So as to avoid becoming a minority on an island filled with beer-drinking rugby-playing hordes the English decided to lower the Welsh birth-rate by teaching them how be English, which mainly involved singing properly and playing football. However the English quickly realised that when properly educated Welsh people are inherrently better than them at everything, ever. For example, Tom Jones has the singing power of ten-thousand englishmen and Ryan Giggs is clearly the greatest British football player in the history of Britain. Realising that England was rapidly being outclassed the then British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher reversed the effects of education on the Welsh by personally grinding every last piece of industry in Wales into the ground and then giving the unemployed Welshmen unlimited supplies of lager.

[edit] Welsh Power

The Welsh have a strange power over cheese. They can shoot laser beams from their eyes, juggle Nebraska, ride the EU, blow out the sun and beat the Grim Reaper in a staring contest. If a Welshman were heated in a broken microwave oven in cardiff to exactly 300.1 degrees C, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

[edit] Welsh Language

The Welsh language is a very unique item. It has an odd way of being entirely incomprehensible no only when written, but also when spoken. For example, "Dwynedd ab origach fwylled, look you". As you can see, Wayne Rooney is clearly Welsh.

[edit] Welshisms

Wales is known for it's many Welshism's, such as - "Who's coat is that jacket?" and "see those two houses over there? Mine's the one in the middle". It is not known if these ism's were made to confuse the English or if an Irish man has infiltrated the Welsh way of speaking somehow. Another Welsh way of speaking is to add an S on the end of words, for example, "I loves you" or "I knows that".

[edit] Typical welsh

Welsh people are generally regarded with envy from fellow Britons. This is because they were born in Wales.

[edit] Welsh People

Little is known about the Welsh. We know they smell like roses, they live in giant fish that can't breath under water, they have their own strange fast-paced language that they call "LLyddpwdlldd" and that they have an odd ability to telepathically communicate with Chinese people. It is highly possible that the Welsh seek to dominate the world with the Chinese or simply buy their llamas from Tibet. Many confuse the Welsh language with an outrageous idea called "Cymraeg" (pronounced cum-rag), which actually is spoken in Liverpool due to the amount of spitting.

These beings are otherwise unknown to us and may be more dangerous than we give them credit for - just think about it, all those rugby players in one country? They must be training for something. Evidence has been found that suggests Wales has a much smaller population than is supposed - the Wlesh just move around a lot making it difficult to count them.

The head of this strange race, Tom Jones, has made the people of the world trust him by hypnotising them with his singing, so he now has the opportunity to broadcast his voice all over the world: when the Welsh hear this signal they will spring into action and capture all those who were listening and make them do their bidding and force them to speak Welsh. They will capture world leaders and force the few that weren't listening to go into hiding.

Evidence suggests that the Welsh originated with the men who were exiled from Lancashire between 1956 and 1997, for refusing to smoke. The earliest fossilised remains of a Welsh man were found in the Brymbo Valley by archeologists in 1982. Carbon dating estimates that "Brymbo man" lived between 1960 and 1981.

An early Welshman of note was John Wheel moral philosopher and a pioneering mathmatician.

[edit] People who actually HAVEN'T laughed at Welsh, it's fundamentals and the whole point of it's existance

[edit] People who don't love the Welsh in equal measure

  • That guy
  • Jealous Englishmen


[edit] See also

Has No Recolection of ever saying that The Welshmeister, was in any way not made of awsome, in fact he is , he also was the one who brought lord sidius to the darks side, and killed the crazy frog with a hammock

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