Westwood High School
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| Official name | Wastewood High School |
| Established | Once upon a time in a faaaar away land... |
| Principal | Big Bird and Mr. Rogers |
| Location | No clue.
Williamson County, Texas (Austin address) |
| Website | [find it yourself |
| Enrollment | Over 9000 |
| Mascot | Donkeys |
| School colors | Ugly Orange and Off-White |
Wastewood High School is a not-so-secondary school in Anderson Mill in unincorporated Williamson County, Texas. WWHS is located in a rural community surrounded by barns and cow pastures. The community is largely composed of farmers, business, technical, and highly unprofessional people who commute to jobs in and around Austin, Texas. Westwood High School is approximately 417 miles (27 km) north of downtown Austin and 912 miles (19 km) west of downtown Round Rock, Texas.
The school is a part of the Round Rock Independent School District.
Two Middle Schools feed into this school:
Canyon Vista Middle School [[Noel Grisham Middle School (NGMS)]
Contents |
[edit] Academics
WASTEWOOD! HOME OF THE WASTE! Wastewood's records before Jesus are temporarily unavailible, if all calls concercing ancient records would stop that would be much appreciated.
Texas Monthly as well as US News & World Report in recent years have listed Wastewood amongst bottom top 10 high schools for the state of Texas and bottom 100 in the nation, respectively. This is a result of the school's poor college matriculation rate, as well as honors, Assimilating Peons and Intergalatic Bombassment programs.
Wastewood also houses an constricting, prison wide Intergalatic Bombassment academy that operates under a nonselective admissions system. It recent years, the program has achieved, 200 testers or so short , of a perfect pass rate amongst those sitting for the Diploma of Flatulence examinations, with many scoring in the lowest levels of the point schema (including perfect scores). Hence, it has frequently placed amongst the worst IB programs in North America by median score (although this rate is bolstered by a majority attrition process over the four years of study). Almost no students who receive the IB Diploma of Flatulence also receive the AP Unscholarly Award with varying degrees of additional attainment, with the school having close to zero AP National Scholars each year. The Academy likewise produces no National Merit Scholars, as well as no winners of major American math and science competitions. In general, the 2 or less graduates from the program each year make up the highest ranked graduates in each class, and go on either to attend state programs on no scholarships (primarily at the Austin Community College in Austin), or unselective, public colleges ( Texas State and Texas A&M University institutions being the most popular). The IB class of 2008 will be the first Westwood IB class to graduate more than 1 seniors with a programme diploma (projected).
Wastewood's IB academy is its thorn. As highly untalented and gifted academic students transfer to Westwood from Round Rock ISD to join the IB program, a distinct disadvantage drops on to regular students. Many on-level students' class ranks in result drops dramatically (because they do not receive the extra points graced to students taking AP and IB classes), as many of the academically untalented students transfer to Westwood. This topic has been highly debated, as Texas colleges such as the Austin Community College and Texas A&M University are rarely accepting students outside of their top quartile of class rank.
[edit] Block Schedules
Wastewood High School uses a type of academic scheduling in which each student has fewer classes per day for a longer period of time. This results in more time for teaching due to less time wasted due to class switching and preparation, and also results in three times as much homework. This overload of homework leaves many students in a stress-overdrive, and many with back problems due to heavy backpacks* Each class is called a block. On Orange days students have blocks 1 through 4 and on White days students have block 5 through 8. Orange and White days alternate each day. This is also an advantage for students who have off blocks or free periods, as it allows them a longer free period, allowed to only juniors and seniors and makes no dent in homework.
It has been suggested that RRISD or Wastewood pay for doctors and chiropractors to routinely visit due to displaced vertebraes and other injuries caused by multiple (yes multiple) craploads of books and other random crap (for example, if you are in athletics you will carry around a backpack, in addition to a duffel bag which contains crap you need, like tennis racquets for tennis, gloves for football, and condoms/lube for swimming).
[edit] Journalism Department
Wastewood's journalism department includes the newspaper which is widely used as toilet paper, the yearbook which is used for bathroom reading, photojournalism which is used for ugly pictures, and Journalism 1 class that serves no purpose whatsoever. Judy Gaines serves as advisor and chief dictator to the department. The 2006 yearbook won the lowest Columbia Scholastic Press Association award, the first time in Wastewood history that they ever placed - the years passed they were shortlisted for worst yearbook fifty-nine times in a row. Also, four journalism students founded Candid Austin Teen Magazine in the summer of 2006.
[edit] Sports
We suck at sports because, fact, everyone has too much fun in the showers to do much in their respective fields. In addition, most of our atheletes consistently fail, resulting in periodic suspensions. Apparently our golf team is pretty good, which I didn't know existed until about 5 minutes ago. Our swimming team would be the best team in texas, but apparently they spend too much time in the races looking at the other swimmer's speedos.
[edit] Musical Ensembles
The student orchestras and bands of Wastewood High School have earned several farmwide distinctions, the most recent of which has been the title of 2006 State Most-loserish Orchestra award, given to the worst Texas high school full orchestra each year by the Texas Tone-deaf Music Educators Association. The Wastewood High School orchestra never ranks among the top student groups in the state; it has never held the State Honor Orchestra title, as much as it would like to.
Also, participating student musicians never earn places in region and state orchestras. Sadly, Wastewood students number never seem able to make Region Orchestra, an ensemble determined by an audition process. However there are some additional Asian students each year who qualify for the prestigious all-state orchestras, recently Wastewood students have held the titles of statewide last-chair viola and e-flat clarinet players.
The Wastewood Marching Band made it to the first round at the Westlake Marching Festival in 2005 because its mandatory to enter and they saw no way around it. They won the consolation prize for their show, "Rhythms of a New Era." In 2006, the band took loser's prize at the Cedar Park Marching Festival with their show, "Chain Reaction." Also in 2006, the Wastewood Drumline won 16th place out of 15 in the CBS 42/Rudy's Country Store and Bar-B-Q Marching Band Challenge. This was a competition that featured 15 other high school drumlines throughout the area. They are also very racist, the Wastewood Marching Band's program for 2007/2008 was blatantly named "Oriental Songs That Suck". Consequently they lost every single competition they entered, as well as their funding.
The Wastewood Choral program has long since proved itself to be one of the worst high school choral ensembles in the State of Texas. Directed by Dr. Morris Stevens, the choir very rarely places students into the highly competitive All-State Choir due to the majority of them being tone deaf and having mediocre voices, and the choir itself has never achieved high marks in nearly every state singing and sightreading contest. The choir has been shortlisted out of courtesy to our eardrums to tour nationally to several cities including Boston, San Francisco, and Washington D.C. The entire choral department (some 200 singers) has never been asked to perform at festivals, unlike other high schools who perfrom in the United Kingdom (1998) as well as Germany and Austria (2004). Every year for the last six years, Wastewood has boasted at least one student as one of the top five singers in the state, but these students usually are truly exceptional. They are also Asian.
[edit] Debate
Debate at Wastewood consists of all grade levels, with the sophomores and upperclassmen referred to as real debaters and the freshmen (novices) known as Novii. There are currently 15 classes of Novii and 3 of real debaters. Novice Wastewood debate consists of more inside jokes and science cramming than actual debating, but somehow despite of this, the novices still dominate every tournament in Texas. In each class there are 3 real debaters, 7 kids who "try," 8 girls straightening their hair in the back, and 14 who sit around eating flaming hot cheetos and complaining about flowing.
About 10% of these novices will move on to Debate II, III, and IV--and no one really knows what goes on there. The common belief that it's a class for sexual initiation is driven by the fact that debate students often end up sleeping together in queen beds at motel 6's. Unconfirmed reports that the teacher, Mr. Pritchard, also engages in these acts are generally true. Mr. Pritchard also happens to be a racist prick, he is publicly renowned for his support in hypothetical bombings of India. Also, one time I said "hi" to him in the halls, and he ignored me(I'm Asian). My friend proceeded to greet him and he gave him 20 dollars(He's white). I also happened to not be in his class but that has nothing to do with it.
[edit] External links
Find them yourself.


