What happened to you last night

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"That person? Yeah... I remember them. Man that person was so hammered!"

~ Oscar Wilde when asked about you

The events of you last night are sketchy at best. It seems that around 10:00 pm, you and some buddies decided to go to that club downtown, you know, that club you guys are always going to. Pre-drinking may have occurred though authorities have not been able to confirm this with any accuracy.

You and your buddies reached the club around 11:00 pm. Twenty minutes later after a few drinks, you were introduced to your first shot of tequila, at which you were utterly disgusted, yet then proceeded to take two more shots. Security camera footage at around 11:45 shows you on the dance floor performing moves and drooling at the same time.

At around 12:15 one of your buddies offered to drive you home. You agreed but got lost somewhere in the parking lot and ended up at the 24 hour McDonalds across the street ordering a Happy Meal. After throwing up on the counter, the night shift manager graciously called you a taxi.

Details after this point are sketchy. The taxi driver drove you to what he thought was your home, based on what was written on your driver's licence. He apparently was not aware it was one of your friends' you were using as a fake ID.

Dazed and somewhat sore both from the alcohol and the "payment" for the ride home you call the number written on your forearm only to realize it is not an english speaking number. you proceed to vomit and walk home.

you then decided to throw a bbq at 2 in the morning you rang all your friends but they told you to fuck off but you had it anyway all what you could find was 3 eggs and bread

You first tried the eggs on the disposable bbq which you had lit on the kitchen table but it didnt go well

you then gave up and you found the chicken nuggets that you had hidden in your pockets from earlier

you eat the nuggets somewhat dazed and delighted with your find

you opened the few cans you had in the fridge and took 1 drink but you were sooo drunk you forgot where the can was

you truned on the 15 inch t.v. which now looked 6 feet tall and 20 feet wide

you fell into the sofa lit a fag and fell asleep