Wheel of Fortune
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“W-eel -f F-rtune? T-at s--w was dev-sed for -d--ts.”
~ Merv Griffin on Wheel of Fortune
“I'd like to vo-el all over Vanna -hite!”
~ Pat Sajak on Vanna White
“In Soviet Russia, the wheel spins YOU!”
~ Russia on The Wheel of Fortune
Wheel of Fortune is a television show that contestants appear on by being too stupid for Jeopardy. Instead of knowing stuff, contestants merely must guess letters at random, and then read what they say.
Contents |
[edit] Be--g a Co-te-ta-t
The show Wheel of Fortune always has actors of ethnicity. They need ethnic people on the show, or it would just be the same white trash week after week. The contestants usually consist of a black person, an Asian, a white person, or an old Jewish person. Usually the Jewish person is a man named Alan Walker.
The other requirement of Wheel players is that they must have tried out for Jeopardy and failed. They are then led into the Wheel studio, where they are stuck in a closet with Vanna White. If they are able to resist her seduction, then they are allowed on the show.
[edit] G--e -l-y
Game play consists of people taking letters from a crack whore in a dress, while talking to someone beamed in from the 80's. The 80's man gives each person a chance to spin a wheel that usually doesn't do anything, and put letters in places that dont matter. Usually, it starts with the Asian person, and goes through the line of contestants until we reach the jew, who is skipped.
The Asian person usually get either the letter or a whole sentence, and scores a 1337 amount of points. The black person misses every other letter, and word-rapes the white person for "keepin' my fat nigga ass" down. The white person never scores, but never loses. This should be considered an example of either kitten huffing or the effects of the Bermuda Triangle.
[edit] Bon-- R-und
The person with the who gets lucky (usually the stupid one) gets to spin a different wheel. In previous versions a contestant could choose from 5 letters, but several contestants tried to buy a vowel instead.
[edit] C-mm-nl- p-ck-d l-tt-rs/s-mb-ls
By far, the most commonly picked symbol is the symbol prince used as a name. Other letters:
- Q
- rr (the spanish letter)
- Q
- Q
- Z
- 4
- ¥
- Æ
- ش
- ۩
- ۞
- ▲►▼▼► START SELECT A B
- ▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒
- ; (semicolon)
- Ctrl + Alt + Del
- The Batman Symbol
Note: In America, the practically useless letters "RSTLNE" are given in the bonus round, so it is up to the contestant to choose three consonants and a vowel that might actually help a little.
[edit] Fa-ou- -o-ent-
- Contestant Peter Griffin picks three Q's in the bonus round and proceeds to answer correctly. Rumors swirl that Griffin had been given the answer beforehand; speculation revolves around the fact that Peter and Merv Griffin are eighth cousins once removed.
- Contestant Randy Marsh was on the most-watch Wheel of Fortune episode ever to date...at least the Bonus Round on YouTube. The category was "People who annoy you", and Randy said Niggers on live TV and it didn't get bleeped. Not only Randy Marsh apologized to Jessie Jackson, but so did Pat Sajak. And the category "People who annoy you" was discontinued after that.
- Alex Trebek murders Sajak on April 1 after hosting the show. Trebek is executed for his crime; the next day, both he and Sajak are resurrected by Sony, the producers of the two shows. Sony then runs out of money and resort to the Playstation brand.
- During one recording, an outbreak of Matt Gonfallis' disease occured. Several of the audience already had AIDS so the symptoms surfaced quickly. Several old people made makeshift mini skirts on the spot. They believed Vanna White to be a demon, and tried to slay her.
- Wheel was devised as a Jeopardy! replacement for NBC, because NBC thought Jeopardy! was too good of a show to air on network television. Both shows are currently syndicated.
- Pat Sajak has often had to tell the audience to "shush" when they try to yell out the answer.You know,someone should do that,if they haven't already.And Vanna White should flash the winner.
 | Divinatory Arts and Artists |
| Antropomorphing | Astrology | Augury | Ball gazing | Clairvoyance | Dice | Fortune cookies | Magic 8-Ball | Monopoly | Necromancy | Negromancy | Nostradamus | Numerology | Palmistry | Phrenology | Precognition | Prophecy | Psychic | Scatomancy | Tarot | Telepathy | Wheel of Fortune |
