Who killed JFK
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There are many theories on who killed JFK. The most common theory is that he was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald but anyone who thinks that is true is a complete retard. Below are some more plausible theories.
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[edit] Rhys woodfield
John F. Kennedy was shot by Rhys Woodfield with a LAW rocket launcher, while he was mooning all the supporters of his Nazi retard poverty fund. Rhys shot him from the USS Abraham Lincoln's Penis on January 25 1724 during the great redhill war
[edit] Adolf Hitler
Adolf Hitler rose from the grave and enlisted the help of alien mercenaries from the planet Marklar. They flew their spaceship over John F. Kennedy's motorcade and Hitler shot a hand grenade out of his ass right into JFK's car but he made it look like he had been shot with a rifle from the grassy noll.
[edit] Steven E
Shortly after Saddam was hanged (Yeah, it's 'hanged' not 'hung' you retards.) the KKK (Ku Klux Klan) resurrected him and sent him back in time using their time machine which they made out of toothpicks, chewing gum and a laptop computer. Saddam snuck up behind John F. Kennedy, smashed a TV over his own head and grabbed JFK transferring the electric shock to JFK instantly killing him.
[edit] Random Black Guy
The police are extremely racist, so they tried to blame it all on Random Black Guy Jones who lives in New York, NY, USA. The police got a major shock when they entered his apartment to arrest him only to find out he was white. It is said that 80% of the SWAT team sent to 'recover' Random Black Guy Jones had to go through 3 years of therapy. The remaining 20% were treated for mild shock.
[edit] The U.S.S. Enterprise NX-01
Considering the amount of times the crew, led by Dr. Sam Beckett in his permanent Quantum Leap into Jonathan Archer, had travelled back and forth through time and seen multiple alternate realities, it's no wonder that many people believe that the Enterprise could've travelled back and 'accidentally' killed JFK. Yes, maybe the crew used the ship itself to kill JFK. Those phase cannons may be more primitive than phasers, but they sure can kill a man! However, the footage and photographs of JFK's death show blood splatter, suggesting a bullet had impacted. Nevertheless, some say that the Enterprise crew could've somehow manipulated the photos and footage using Adobe Photoshop CS1337 and Windows 'It Works' Movie Maker. Hey, why didn't the video footage appear as a video game? Could it be the work of Sam/Archer and his crew? Who knows. (Well, maybe the Enterprise crew themselves... but.)
[edit] Whose Line is it Anyway?
This theory is coupled with the Saddam Hussein theory. When Drew and da crew discovered the KKK had built a makeshift time-machine, they stole it by having Wayne simply walk into the KKK's meeting hall, therefore distracting them. (Wayne's black BTW) With the machine in hand, they went back in time to try and stop JFK's assassination. But when they managed to check out the Texas Book Repository, there was of-course, no gunman. Saddam was supposed to kill JFK. Drew decided to have them return to the present, but Colin accidentally destroyed the time machine whilst doing his dinosaur impression for no particular reason. Stuck in 1960s Dallas, the crew decided they'd do an episode of 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' using an old, discarded 'Adults only' game-set that Drew kept in his pocket for safe-keeping. They played it out on the side of the road that JFK was travelling along... Until there was a 'SPLAT' sound. JFK's head had just exploded due to an excessive amount of Laughter...
