Whore
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| This article is about your mom. |
“£20 bucks . . . Deal or No Deal?”
~ Noel Edmonds on a whore
“ah, many fond memories, and a good chunk of my life”
~ Oscar Wilde on A Whore
“Veni, Vidi, Ea Vicit”
~ Julius Caeser on A Whore
“I'm so hot.”
~ Paris Hilton on a whore
“SUCK ME OFF!!”
~ Hunter Smith on Whores
“That whore costed me 200 dollars”
~ Whore Hunter on A Whore
“Whoops, I was looking for my page”
~ Lindsay Lohan on herself
“What? It pays the bills.”
~ Your Mom on prostitution
“...and that was when she said she was your sister.”
~ That Guy you Really hate on your sister
Contents |
Early whores
During 500 B.C., the adaptation of prostitution was brought forth to the world by Nuns of the Pastafarian Church of Lichtenstein. They worked their way up the ranks of the monasteries, doing anything from hand jobs to zj's to oral sex. And once their "battle chest" had accumulated sufficient funds, they moved to nearby monasteries, only to infiltrate them. Soon enough, their "battle chests" could hold no more gold, so they had to transfer their funds to Swiss Bank Accounts.
Once they reached Budapest, Hungary, there was a civil outrage. Five Pastafarian Churches were burned in the West Bank as a result, with forty-five pastors injured - none dead. Except the black one.
This was so serious as it needed Pope Benedict XVI to use the Popemobile to go back in time in an attempt to "settle things down". In his speech, he uttered, "Pastafarian Nuns have brought to the world only evil and inhuman things".
Benedict XVI then led operation "Anaconda", which aimed to eradicate the Pastafarian "cancer" out of Europe. It succeeded, taking only three weeks to complete. No nuns died, but they were forced "at the sword" to convert to Alcoholism.
Pastafarian pastors who did not comply were either castrated or deported to Jamaica and Ethiopia.
Due to Pope Benedict XVI's failure as a religious leader,(and occasional use of the nuns himself) Pastafarians and their highly-experienced nuns continue to flourish today throughout the civilized world. Yearly revenues amount to 69 million Canadian Dollars. Which in America amounts to about 38 cents. The equation of a whore is amount of crack smoked x amount of times paid for sex - times hit by pimp \ amount of abortions = whore
''''''''''I LOVE WHORES''''''''''
Superhos
Many ho's are under the cane of the magnetic pimp Magnegro. These superhos have super powers, that not among these are the amounts of bootae and junk in the trunk they possess. The first and most famous of these superhos was the infamous Mystiqua who was soon joined by Danielle McMahon. Surprisingly, Paris Hiltion is the definition of Superho, mainly because she parties all day, drinks Ying-Ling, and has sex with random Heirs to oil tycoons. Did you know Vince loves Paola, and the other way around? Coming in at a close second is Tom Stoss. Tom Stoss is a little known aspiring actor who has long hair and wears a Meatwad hat. He tends to laugh at random acts of violence and occasionally engages in public rampages. Tom Stoss has had sex with more women than both Wilt Chamberlain and Magic Johnson combined, and has not yet contracted aids. This is the sole reason why Tom Stoss is ranked number two on the People Magazine's Top twenty whores list.
Prostitution during the 1920s
The uprising of "show girls" and "cabaret dancers", who were basically whores too, just legalized because of the government conspiracy called "The Depression".
Whores of Today
In the world of today, whores have become a commodity for most metropolitan areas. In every city you go, you'll probably find a whore marketing his/her services at a reasonable fee. If you would like to buy their services online, go to MySpace. Also, the whores can be found in the school lunch game 'Handball'. This is when someone gets another out in a very cheap way, resulting in the person getting, out calling the person who got them out, a whore. Today there are Whores in Training (Children).
Typical Myspace Whores
Whores and music
Whores, aside from being what they are, are also musicians and music lovers, too.
My Ex-Wife
One of the best known whores in America today is my ex-wife. That woman is like a merry-go-round; everybody got a turn. Do you know how many of my ex-wives it takes to screw in a light bulb? Just one, she would have screwed anything. She was a lot like a garbage can. If you put her on a street corner, you knew somebody would come along and pick her up. Usually you may see her with my best friend, whom I've known since 1st grade, usually sucking his cock or giving him other "favors" just to piss me off. It just wasn't enough for you to rip my heart out and take HALF OF MY FUCKING POSSESSIONS YOU BITCH!!!! WHY?!!!!!
Your Ex-Wife
Frankly, we're all surprised that you didn't know. Much like My Ex-Wife, your Ex-Wife was, and is, a whore of the highest calibre. For more information about this, see the article on Barry White. In particular, however, your Ex-Wife is notable for having orally satisfied America's first robotic president, Hoobert Heever. My Ex-Wife's only brush's with fame involve Menudo, and being the first woman to ever perform the Alaskan Firedragon, (I came in her mouth, duct-taped her mouth, told her I had herpes, and in her shock semen shot out of her nose like a basketball out of Shaq's hand), and a tube of Chap Stick. Only time will tell which of us has the better story.
Your Mum
Yes, on Mondays she is a bit busy, what with the Reservations that Bob, and that creepy uncle you never liked make, but I can assure you that's not always how this whore works!
On a Tuesday or Thursday, she seem to have some queer obsession with her own breasts (and you wondered who the old saggy one was on the voyeur page), though she keeps herself to ho-self (hahaha) on a Wednesday.
On a Friday, she is busy with your 'Dad', but the chances of him being your birth father are, quite frankly, close to impossible. (You know why...)
Lastly, on those great Saturdays and Sundays, she is out of the house, and so you bring someones mum over for a 'bit of it', but I wonder where she went...
Your Dad
That's why he spends long hours at his work every night.
Belle
A legend of internet parties in Melbourne, Australia, Belle's signature arrival at these parties is the topless look. To quote Belle, she "loves hanging loose, just like mother nature intended". She even made a home page to celebrate her whoreish activities.
Types of Whores
Examples of whores
- Paris Hilton
- Lindsay Lohan
- Nicole Richie
- Oscar Wilde
- Most of the female population of Essex
- Most women, and most gay men too
- Category of Whores
See also
| Four Letter-Words |
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| The A Word • The B Word • The C Word • The D Word • The E Word • The F Word • The G Word • The H Word • The I Word • The J Words • The K Words • The L Word • The M Word • The MF Word • The N Word • The Ñ Word • The O Word • The P Word • The Q Word • The R Word • The S Word • The T Word • The U Word • The V Word • The W Word • The X Word • The Y Word • The Z Word |
Categories: Not safe for work | Words | Whores | Women | Sluts
