Whores-drawn carriage

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An early design of a Whores-Drawn Cart. The whores are twin sisters bred for the purpose of pulling large carts such as this one
An early design of a Whores-Drawn Cart. The whores are twin sisters bred for the purpose of pulling large carts such as this one

Whores-drawn carts are carts (similar to the horse-drawn ones) except with a whore, instead of a horse. At the end of each ride, the whore is required to give a blow job (or whatever the man riding the cart wants) to the person who rode the cart. The whores who drive these carts are never in short supply, as you can pick one up at any dark alleyway. However, to be fair (and because the law says so), the whores who drive the carts do have to fit into one of these categories:

  • Low on money
  • Must be willing to eat hay
  • Must be willing to give a blow job on command
  • May have been, or will be, a porn star

Contents

[edit] Creation

In the early to mid fifteenth century, a number of animal rights activists began to campaign against the use of animals to pull carts and rickshaws around urbanised areas. Due to an absurd amount of political lobbying, Parliament, chaired by one Pippin McSpiffsworth decided that using animals in such a manner was illegal.

Due to an astonishing lack of foresight, as Parliament was called out of session, the politicians realised that they were now incapable of retreating to their countryside estates, as motor vehicles, to their dismay, hadn't been invented yet.

In a bold and daring move, Parliament re-assembled (which wasn't too much of a chore due to them all still being at the building because they couldn't get home) and called in the animal rights activists to decide upon a safe and humane course of action.

It is a well known fact that the rights of people are often ignored by such fringe political groups, and it was decided that people should be used to draw the carts in a similar manner to Rickshaws (popularised at the time by the German expressionist poet Duran Duran). It was tough decision to reach, with many minority social groups such as immigrants and tramps being rejected as being un-politically correct and, in the case of tramps (many of which had dogs) that they were animal rights activists themselves. Thus forth, to accommodate everyone's opinions, they created the first whores-drawn carts.

[edit] Modern resurgence

A return to Whores-drawn carts has begun after the rising price of gas. Whores are advantageous to cars as they do not consume gasoline. This gives them an effective Infinite mpg rating by the Transportation Bureau. To stay so skinny, Whores typically are bulimic and do not eat or drink anything except flavored water, which they usually vomit up upon reaching a bathroom. However, price fixing is expected to raise the cost of water in the near future as whore-drawn carts become more common.

The WDC, as it is called by public transportation fans around the world, has the potential to destroy the modern economy of America. Gas Stations, a common meeting point for whores and johns, will go out of business as WDCs gain market acceptance. This will result in Gas Stations being converted into Whore Depots to provide ample room for lunch breaks, blow jobs, etc.

[edit] Hybrid Whores

A movement has also begun to adopt transsexual whores for use in whore-drawn carts. These hybrid whores allow for increased usage of hybrid in marketing materials in consumer magazines. A math movement has begun to try and improve acceptances of both the whore-drawn cart and the transsexual whore, which has been banned in the Southern United States. Hybrid whores are working hard to improve customer satisfaction, but many remain in the closet and assume traditional gender roles while providing their services.

[edit] Whores-drawn Carriages vs. Whoresless Carriages

In the year 1984 the invention of Whoresless Carriages caused a major crisis in the Whores-Drawn industry. Once again whores were reduced to giving oral sex in dirty alleys instead of being an intergral part of the transportation industry. As the Whoresless Carriage slowly evolved into the modern automobile, the whore lobbying industry made attempt after attempt to convince various members of Parliment to lessem their burden, but most of them merely ended up lessening the politicians burdens, and no progress was made to revert back to whore powered transit.

Finally, at a party in 1999, Dixie Rect was suddenly filled with inspiration. These new Whoresless Carriages could be used to provide a cleaner environment for prostitutes to practice their trade. Instead of delivering the customer to a remote location, the customer would provide their own ride! Word of the brilliant idea spread round the world, and on January 1, 2000, man and whore had back seat sex for the very first time.

While older members derided this new, immoral act, young people embraced the idea with passion, and the fight to outlaw automobiles in favor of sex workers was finally laid to rest on Aug. 29 2000.

[edit] The other kind of Whores-drawn Carriage

The other kind of whores-drawn carriage is the result of a bunch of whores trying to draw a picture of a carriage. This is rare because most of the time they end up scribbling, as it only is a whores drawn carriage when the drawing is a success.

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