Why?:Be gay?

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This article is FAB-U-LOUS!

However, the catholic soccer moms do not approve. Will you please turn this article straight? If you do, we won't have to suffer through another boring lecture!

Why?
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's?

“Why not?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Being Gay

“I'm with him”

~ Noel Coward on The above quote

“I wish I was with them”

~ Tom Cruise on the above two quoter's

You know you've thought about it. You did venture into this article, did you not? Maybe you just hit the random page thingey-mah-bobber and ended up here, in that case, the internets and Al Gore are questioning your sexuality. But you wont do anything about it. Because you're a pussy.

In either case, you should probably read this.

1 Why be gay?
- 1.1 Men
- 1.2 Women
2 Why not be gay?
- 2.1 Men
- 2.2 Women

[edit] Why be gay?

[edit] Men

You will be FABULOUS!
It's far easier to get buttfucked than it is to get some pussy. (Probably)
No one will care if you openly express how you would willingly slip Brad Pitt some tongue if given the chance.
You'll have something to look foreword to when you go to prison.
Gay Powers such as "super neatness" and talking with a small lisp.
Random parades.
No worries of getting your partner pregnant.
Anal orgasms are more fun
You can jack off to your own image in the mirror.
"Queer" is considered "your word" now. Kind of like how black people get to call each other niggers.
Semen is an excellent source of protein and amino acids.
Girlfriend won't bug you about vaccuuming during the game.

[edit] Women

orgasms
ability to play softball
no worries about getting your partner pregnant.
a valid excuse to get rid of annoying guys at a bar
When you guys do it, it's awesome.

[edit] Why not be gay?

[edit] Men

Buttfucking causes anal leakage. (Probably)
You can no longer be considered a true pirate.
Your dick will probably smell like poo. Whether or not that is worse than how it smells right now is your own call.