Why?:Wear clothes 3 sizes too small

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Why?
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It's another hurts-to-move morning. You curse, shuffle and slide your way out of bed. Grumbling to yourself, you start to dress, but it's a struggle. You've noticed that your clothes have been feeling snug for a while now, but this is getting ridiculous. And that's when you realise: these clothes are three sizes too small!

Of course, your instinctive reaction is to make a big fuss about it. But wait! Have you ever considered that, contrary to popular belief, there are many benefits to wearing clothes 3 sizes too small?

Confused? Don't be! Simply read on, as we fill you in on the many and varied overlooked reasons to wear clothes three sizes too small!.

[edit] Those reasons in full:

[edit] You won't have to buy new clothes

Those clothes cost $14.99! That is so expensive! Buy something else with the money!

New clothes cost money!! Money doesn't grow on trees so make sure to use it wisely. Wouldn't you rather save money for that vacation home in Hawaii instead of buying useless crap?

Another hassle is going to the store. It's so boring! Think about the other things you could do instead. Additionally, driving to the store wastes energy. Save energy instead of wasting it!! Even getting the clothes is a waste of money. It's only a matter of time before these small clothes stretch to fit you.

[edit] Finally, a reason to go on that diet

Can't lose weight? That's understandable. How would wearing clothes 3 sizes too small help you ask? The answer: Once the trousers that are 3 sizes too small stretch to fit you, wear clothes that are even 3 times smaller afterwards than the ones you are wearing now and they'll stretch into you. Then it will make you feel even skinnier even though you are not really all that skinny.

[edit] For Pleasure and Comfort

Wearing clothes 3 sizes too small can feel like an ordeal in your morning routine, due to your stubborn inflexibility. But imagine how good it will feel to take off these clothes that are 3 sizes too small at night!

DISCLAIMER: Not compatible for people who lack a penis. Women should apply this method to shrink their boob size instead.

[edit] The arguments against wearing 3 sizes too small

She's wearing clothes 3 sizes too small, she's happy and skinny

There are several arguments against wearing clothes 3 sizes too small.

The Argument - doctors have when you wear clothes 3 sizes too small, complications can be caused by organs being squished together. It's pretty self-explanatory, when you're squashed into tiny clothes, your organs will be squashed as well.

The Truth - squishing things is good, think compact cameras, compact discs, things that are better compressed! Crushing your intestines up against your kidneys, forcing your liver into hiding behind your appendix will improve the efficiency of your body^{[citation needed]}. Notice how computers get more efficient the smaller the microchips get? Exactly!

The Argument - large clothing rips and tears large people.

The Truth - clothes ripping and tearing large people is a GOOD thing, it gives you something to do at night when you're bored, such as repairing the clothes you broke.

The Argument - large clothing causing excess sweating, think about it, tight clothing restricts airflow.

The Truth - Why do you like about going in the sauna, if it causes excess sweating as well? Well the answer is, it's enjoyable. They're the same thing and thusly, clothing restricting airflow is an ENJOYABLE thing.

[edit] In conclusion

Search through your closet and search for children clothes. Wear them and brag too your friends that you're skinny (despite not being skinny) and hopefully, those crappy clothes stores will finally go out of business.