Why?:You Should Kill Yourself
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| Why? This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's? |
Having Trouble deciding whether or not to kill yourself? Family and friends worried you might end up 6 feet under? Well your in the right spot to make your hopes come true.
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[edit] Why?
You Should Kill yourself for Many reasons, Perhaps it's your horrible odor, Your sweaty armpits, your WoW addiction, the fact that you can't get a girlfriend (And even if you could she'd be totally freaked out at the insignificance of your Penis.), Your Acne, Your Lack of Athletic ability, The Fact that you are only a level 20 on Runescape, you can't be the Guy in "I Wanna Be The Guy", or perhaps even because when you go on MSN, You have no Friends. But still you should kill yourself.
[edit] Still not convinced?
See, Here's another Reason you should kill yourself, You are too stubborn. Ass. Anywhom, You lack the total essence in which a reasonable human performs. Or, In other words. You're a noob. No-one likes a noob. Not even other noobs. Also, You're probably absolutely a Fat Ass, This limits your Athletic and Romantic Ability as well as the oppurtunity to hang yourself, due to the fact that a rope can-not hold your 723 lb. Ass. You must now Shoot, Drown, Poison, Rape or Set yourself on Fire to yourself. But, let's not dwell on this, this is more something for Howto: Kill Yourself.
[edit] You Should be dead by now.
Christ. You just can't give up can you, Stupid Fuck. Ah Yes! This Brings us to our next topic, You're a stupid ass. After 2 paragraphs of "Go Die" Your still alive. If it's on the internet, It must be true! Fool. Especially when it has to do with killing or murder..... And the world has too many Stupid People as it is. You would be doing yourself, and the rest of the World a huge favor if you went and did the Deed. Dumb-ass....
[edit] Still?
Huh.... You really don't give up that easily. Okay, maybe for some positive attitudes. Think of it this way, if you killed yourself now, you'd get a full page in the year book!! That Hot Chick in your Math class that you you fantasize about in your "Private Moments"? She'd know your name. You may even be on the News! There's no chance that you'd get on the television if you were old and stuff, being a plumber or some crap. So, Fame. Yeah. DO IT.
[edit] Die!
Think of how many people want you dead. That Random guy who you stole that bag of Chips from, Or your little brother so that he can gain all inheritance! (Bwahaha!) Or Your Dad, So that he doesn't have to feed you anymo'. Or Your Teacher! Because if you die the Stamp with the Big "F" on it won't have to run out of ink everytime you hand in an assignment...
[edit] Why you Shouldn't Kill yourself!
[edit] Is it even worth Trying anymore?
You know what? If your still reading, That's fine, Don't Kill yourself, just stink up the world with your Sweaty armpits, and keep your highschool from getting full funding because of your 10.3% grade average, and keep on Pissing of sk8rkid192 on WoW with your Noobiness. Damn you!
