Why you can't play baseball in Hawaii

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You cannot play baseball in Hawaii, asshole.

[edit] Example A: Reasons

• Hawaii is, like, all the way across a freakin' ocean, dude!
• Hawaiians like penis.
• The threat of volcano eruptions worry Ken Griffey Jr.

[edit] Example B: Facts

• No Hawaiian has ever played baseball before.
• It is against the law in Hawaii to swing a baseball bat.
• It is also punishable by death to balk in Honolulu.
• Hawaiians have their own national pastime with a history just as long and respected as baseball. Probably. What the fuck kind of a culture doesn't have one of those, anyway?

[edit] Example C: A Monkey

Isn't it cute!

Lookit the sweater!

[edit] Example D: Contradictions

• Someone played baseball once in Hawaii, because I found a baseball in a ditch by the side of the road in Hilo. It was used.
• There are cricket fields in Hawaii. Crickets play baseball. I saw it on Cartoon Network.
• Ron Darling was born and raised in Hawaii and turned out to be a pretty good baseball player.

[edit] Example E: Grapefruit

Once some not-so-bright baseball player bought a grapefruit in the US, illegally brought it to hawaii and played baseball. he ended up hitting a home run. the grapefruit landed in a zamboni which exploded, letting everyone have some grapefruit juice, which is absolutely disgusting. This is the last and final and most important reason why baseball isn't played in hawaii. Also, grapefruit isn't found in the word hawaii. if it was, it would look like hagrapefruitwaii. which is just whack.

[edit] Conclusion

Still wanna play baseball after that? Didn't think so!