William Rehnquist

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William Rehnquist (June 8, 1884–January 12, 2070), was an American chef of justice. He was the principal originator of the simplified but refined style of cooking known as Judical Cuisine, the high art of cooking laws. Known as "chef of law and law of chefs," he is often thought of as the first celebrity judge.

[edit] Influence

In his first significant position, William worked as the chef de justice and created the first Supreme Court, which we all know now is smothered with Papa Georgio's Special Tomato Sauce, sprinkled with mozzarella cheese, and topped with pepperoni, sausage, red and green peppers, and olives fresh from the (executive) branch.The chef of justice actively collaborated with Oprah to produce a new refined style of eating, using fresh herbs and vegetables and simplified sauces with fewer ingredients, and their efforts resulted in creating the Even Supremer Court.

William's impact on judicial matters ranged from trivial to theoretical. He is credited with creating the Choclate-covered black hole

[edit] Biography

William's life is the amazing story of a rise from a life of abject poverty with no social connections to employment in several of the grandest courts and dining rooms in the south of the United Spades of Amerika.

Born in Alabama and abandoned there by his cousin/mom in 1892 at the height of chaos of the civil war, he worked as a dildo until he was 18, because of his thin mascular and short body. William gained fame in Tennessee by his invention of beer, a mysterious drink that caused men to curse out loud and screw anything with 4 legs.

William became a judge by creating the supreme court, a court like no other, after a long night of drinking his own invention, beer, and having inspirational sex with Oprah. He would again be helped by Oprah in creating the Even Supremer Court, after which he was forced to sell his soul to her. He managed to regain his soul, in trade for a destructive weapon he created.

It is widely believed that Chef Justice Rehnquist was accidentally prayed to death by Pat Robertson (who is well-known for his lousy aim). However, a recent autopsy showed that he actually died at the hands of one of his other inventions, a beeroid. It is the first recorded occurrence of a beerocide in post-modern times.