Wiltshire
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Wiltshire is the long time descendant of 'The Shire' from what was middle earth. Most of the Hobbits have now moved away to places of warmer climes and are know known as pigmis. One of the Most notable Ex-Shire folk is the famous Billy Bailey. The county is also known for being home of some really big stones that no one really knows what they where for, but the look pretty cool... there , like massive.
Contents |
[edit] Miscellaneous
One other noticeable feature of Wiltshire is the county town of Trowbridge, famous for its shoping centre haunted by the ghosts os Adam Ant and Bjork, the towns first mayor. During her time in office, Bjork apointed Jamie Wenham to be her advisor and part time amBasador to the harajuku colony set up by Japanese migrants on the towns border.
Sadly Bjork died during the war between Trowbridge and the herd of Ents living in Widbrook Woods (a small forest half in this world, half somewhere else, possibly Blackpool, but probably not) when her chariot made of magazines with pictures of famous model Ellie Weston and pulled by a flock of cats was mistaken for a wheeled tree by some of her more stupid troops.
[edit] Residents of Wiltshire
Despite rumours to the contrary, Wiltshire is not totally populated by sheep. Some bipedal apes have been known to evolve to the stage where they can operate a rudimentary keyboard device (using any one of their 12 fingers) and name check their friends on the Internet. Thanks to the cloaking powers of Stonehenge their plans sometimes remain undetected. But not always an example of this is liam smith who was recently jailed for cross speicies erotica.
- Damn i'm on fire- the GREASIEST band ever to have sprung from the depths of scummville
- Calvin Harris (nee Westhoff): The only man known to have given birth multiple times.
- Joseph of the Technicolour Dreamcoat (nee Dale): Partner and fellow creater of Disco with Calvin Harris.
- Ben of Mayonnaise: Overlord of Devizes and supreme mutated chicken-fucker.
- Your Mum. She's so fat she comes from the whole of England anyway. Wiltshire is where her ass crack is.
- Bernie A lard ass who ate all the pies
- Pat Stott Your typicall lazy 17teen year old who has only recently grown his first pube.
[edit] Sport
The main sports in Wiltshire are Drunken Brawling, Wrist-Slitting, laughing at Gingers and going to the toilet. It's all their tiny minds can cope with. Most of these sports are practised in the shithole of Devizes, but they are becoming popular in Trowbridge due to the influence of Calvin Harris' and Joseph of the technicolour dreamcoat's mutiple children.
However, there has recently been a new development in the sports field with passing joints recently becoming very popular. Well, there's nothing else to do. Except fuck a sheep.
[edit] See also
- Marlborough, recent proven to be the center of the universe,
- Aberystwyth, another area of the UK which exists outside of our own dimension and it's own.
- Chippenham, a key part of Wiltshire with a rich history and future. Okay, fine it's a rotting pile of crap.
- Malmesbury, the awsomest shanty-town on the planet ( we love you Charles)
- Salisbury Plain, the only part of Wiltshire that actually exists in the real world, but you're not allowed to go there unless you want to get exploded.
- Potterne (Potty on all OS maps and road signs), well, it even has its own post office!
