Windows for Cavemen
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“Someone asked me if I'd ever make an OS to compare with Windows 3.1 and I think Windows for Cavemen makes the Answer to that question a resounding yes.”
~ Bill Gates, PenisFace and Software guy on Windows for Cavemen
Windows for Cavemen is the most advanced operating system yet produced by Microsoft, the new system has been built to work with certain computers that will function when hit with various forces as this has become the standard language for human computer interaction since the introduction of Windows 95 which was introduced in the year 1000345 BC and won an award for "Most Cool OS from 1000345-1000025 BC". The construction of these computers is already underway
Windows for Cavemen was designed by Bill Gates himself and made to function with his own brain capacity after he destroyed his Previous computer server in a fit of rage over its lack of a enema distribution interface.
We asked Mr. Gates about his faith in Microsoft's new production he proceeded to give us a series of meaningless computer jargon words that really isn't worth reading. But what the heck. Bill: "< i> < b> SYSTEM BOOT FAILURE... 32367 DATA COMPARTMENTS AVAILABLE... ERROR: KEYBOARD MISSING... PRESS F8 TO CO... 1000021010011000010101010101010001111001101 JavaScript: FAILURE.............. BOOT... NOT POSSIBLE: NO MOTHERBOARD FOUND... PROCESSING.... < j> <log > < /i >... System Scan....... NO DATA FOUND... PRESS ALT TO REBOOT... reboot NoT pOsSiBlE... no KEYboArD... preSS ANY key To Continue... Signal Reception lost... daisy, daisy...
[edit] What's Next for Microsoft?
Microsoft is now working on its next project Windows for Politicians which will come in the Home Edition, Senators Edition, Presidential Edition and the Executive Re-Edition (in the year 2000!), the Presidential Edition will include a bonus package containing a free nuclear suitcase and the award winning games "Solitaire" and "Election Rigger VII".
[edit] Early Implementation
int main() {
printf("No keyboard detected...\n");
printf("Press any key to continue\n");
while(1)
{
/*
printf("ERROR\n");
printf("666\n");
*/
printf("Not a WGA Validated customer!\n");
}
return FAILURE;
}
