Windows key

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“Finally I can reach that note I couldn't before.”

~ Ludwig van Beethoven on Windows key

“It's completely necessary to change the logo every few years. People will forget who we are if we don't.”

~ Bill Gates on Logo changes

“I don't see why he uses that strange wavy thing, it doesn't even look like windows. At least my logo actually looks like an apple.”

~ Steve Jobs on Windows and Apple's logos

“Beating games is easier than ever now, and my reputation might be at stake...”

~ AAA on Win Key

The logo used on the windows key

The "Windows key", "Win key" or "What the fuck is that doing on my keyboard key" is a keyboard key originally introduced for Windows so it could play more musical notes. On keyboards lacking a Windows key, no-one could play a π♯ (π and π♭ could be played by holding Shift+F and Shift+F♭ respectively, but without a F♯ key π♯ was deemed unplayable), and thus Ludwig van Beethoven was unhappy. Another short-lived variant of this key, known as the "Epic Win key" was introduced in 1950 but was removed when noobs started using computers.

Historically, the addition of two Windows keys and a menu key marked the beginning of the Bill Gates-era. Initially, the new keyboards were called "Windows keyboards" but this faded once people realized Bill Gates was in league with Evil Jesus and your mom. On Linux machines the key is usually removed from the keyboard using teeth. Also, on newer keyboards there is a circle around this key, possibly to prevent it from spreading to other keys.

1 Licensing
2 Usage with Windows
3 Usage with minor Operating Systems
4 References
5 See also

[edit] Licensing

The new logo licensed by Microsoft.

Microsoft regulates the appearance of the Windows key with a specially crafted license for keyboard manufacturers made out of the Devil's horn. With the introduction of a new Microsoft Windows logo, the agreement was updated so users had to buy new keyboards or spend eternity in hell. The interesting thing is that they have to anyway as the agreement states.^[1] However, with the release of Windows Vista, Microsoft is currently publishing new guidelines so people have to buy ANOTHER new keyboard, in order to avoid copyright breaches. A few keyboard manufacturers have already incorporated this new design into their range of keyboards because they're owned by Patrick Stewart.

[edit] Usage with Windows

Within the standard Windows shell, pressing the Win key by itself confuses the user by opening up the Start Menu. In any other situation, the Win key is used to win. Pressing the key in combination with other keys allows mass confusion as users load programs they don't want, like Help and Internet Explorer. Pressing the key at any time during a full-screen game allows the player to automatically complete the game.

[edit] Usage with minor Operating Systems

The Win key is ignored by other systems. Unix changes it's name to the Meta key, and Linux calls it a Super key. Apple's Mac OS X uses Command key instead, thus lowering themselves to the same level of Microsoft. But they do have another symbol on it that looks like some kind of weird box thing.