Winn Dixie
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“...Because of Winn Dixie”
~ Jeff Daniels on Winn dixie.
Winn Dixie is a second rate Operating System software written by the Microsoft Corporation for prospective customers in southern United States. The main motivation for the release of a different operating system for the South, was from the realization that nobody there could speak or understand a word of English. MS Winn Dixie was an attempt to localize the Microsoft Windows platform. It was originally codenamed "Longhorn", after the city in the state of iOwa.
MS Winn Dixie is rich repository of local colloquialisms including congratulatory statements such as "Welcimm! You've done gone and bot yerselfs sum good 'ol jin-u-wine Mahcrowsoff sof wire," questions to users such as "Deleet all y'all's fals?" and affirmations such as "Welcim ta Mahcrowsoff Werd, g'on and tap on ever what ya want".
Preliminary tests have been conducted in the southern city of Lanner, Jawjuh and the marketing results show promise. The software will be released next January and licensed exclusively to Dayle computer systems.
"It was once the sponsor for NASCAR, but NASCAR declined due to poor response from the black community. Because of Winn Dixie needes to have been the 1086546 movie you saw to work this windows programs and to go on the interwebs on any comp you need to know," Said the Project coordinator at a recent press conference.
Unfortunately for prospective buyers, the new OS will not work with a large number of applications to to its "Corrupted Language Tools." Also, Bill Gates has formally announced, on several occasions, that he does not like the project.
But, many will be happy to know that it is no longer necessary to use a Communist operating system, like Linux, to have proper support for regional dialects. In addition to being the first all-American Southern OS, software included shows evidence that Darwin's theory of Evolution does not make any sense at all, and that concept was immediately huge hit with many Southern schools. Also included is a yet to be unveiled new Blue Screen of Death, now undergoing the process of being ported from XP to Winn Dixie.
The new release also brings forth an idea of, as Bill Gates put it, "bringing Windows to your double-wide!" with a price tag of only $350 for the Ultimate version. Though this may be higher than than Southern Linux, MS Winn Dixie insures the best and happiest operating system environment for America!
[edit] Games for Winn Dixie
Since rednecks have no life, they need some sort of entertainment. Winn Dixie has revolutionized the southern games market with innovative games like "Drive my tractor" and "Chop some wood". Scientists have also found that this is also very popular in northern kindergarten classrooms.
[edit] Controls
The most common controls for the games in Winn Dixie involve a sledgehammer.
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