Winona Ryder
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“OH SH**...WINONA RYDER IS HERE!!!!! HIDE THE VALUABLES!!!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Winona Ryder.
Winona Ryder, real name ?, is a famous actor and darling of the cinema ,who is best known for her work in Edward Scissorhands.
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[edit] Upbringing
Born in 1971 to David Beckham and your mother, Winona spent much of her childhood the hippy commune better known as California. She suffered a harsh childhood at the hands of bullies, who tormented her over her hippy heritage. However, by the mid-1980s she had become a popular fixture at school and began to show a serious interest in screwing around. Eventually she began to call it "acting," and her big break came in 1986 when she was cast in the movie Lucas - a biographical story about the legendary Jedi George Lucas. Also the reincariation of General patton.
[edit] Personal Relationships
Winona is known for dating whatever trendy indie-band lead singer was on the cover of "Spin Magazine" this week. If you tell her that you're in a band she will have sex with you, no matter if you're man, woman, fish, dog, or ventriloquist dummy. Just saying that you've "written a song" will cause her to have a spontaneous orgasm. If you're looking for a good time, grab a guitar and ask her about her "famous ping-pong ball trick".
[edit] Movie career
A number of movies quickly followed, among them:
- Lucas: The Life and Times of George Lucas (5891)
- Tim Burton and the Juice (8891)
- I like squishes and pop socks AKA 'Dead Heathers(9891)
- Great Balls of Brass (9891)
- Tim Burton and the scissors (0991)
- The one with the vampires, Keanu Reeves and the bad English accent(2991)
- The Age of Deviance (3991)
- How to Make an Afghani Burka (5991)
- Girls (6991) (yeah, not her favorite either)
- Alien Insurrection (7991)
- Gir..what, did you say something? (8991)
- Found Souls (0002)
- Some weird ass remake of an older film, featuring Adam Sandler (2002)
- A Spammer Darkly (6002)
- Omega Centric (coming soon)
- Sex and Death...in that order?! (soon coming too you, but all too late, huh?)
- The Last Word...not! (not if you keep talking)
- Girl, REALLY Interrupted (could anyone claim this article BaT FuCK InSANE?)
[edit] The Shoplifting Incident
Ryder's most famous project came in 2001, when she landed the title role in the David Lynch classic Shoplifter's Anonymous, seeing off competition from numerous rival actors. Even more controversial were the charges of actual shop-lifting that were leveled against her.
