Wizard

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Did you mean a: Magician?

~ Google on Wizard

I cast Magic Missle

~ Wizards on Magic Missle

Those lovely boys at Hogwarts must take my wand-polishing class!

~ Oscar Wilde on underage Wizards

Disney's Merlin, grand wizard of the KKK. He has an owl.

A Wizard (or Wizzards as the kids say today) is a term used to describe scary people with hats, even if the hats have horns stuck through them, such as by the case of Tim The Enchanter. They do strange things. Like magic, or Macauley Caulkin. These, however, are not true wizards. All true wizards have pointy hats and beards, even the women. Female wizards are, however, believed to be a myth by most credible sources.

There are many well known wizards; Merlin was a Wizard in "Sword in the stone", because he was strange and invited children over to his cottage, much like Michael Jackson, as well as wearing a hat. Merlin in the two part miniseries aired on NBC in 1998 is not, not least part of which is due to the lack of a hat. Sorry NBC Merlin. Peter Pan(aka Paedo Pan) is a wizard, abducting small boys from their parents, and living in a place called "Never land." He also flies, and teases alligators. Harry Potter was also a wizard, but not a very good one, he tried to make things fly but only got a flying car to fly, and that was with Ron's help, and they ended up in a tree! He's not very good at anything.

Other wizardly traits include having a familiar, such as an animal or small child. Merlin had an Owl, and Michael Jackson may have had Macauley Caulkin, as well as other familiars. Peter Pan had all of the lost boys, when Wendy wasn't around. Wizards also frequently live in secluded caves or ranches, in order to concentrate on their work. Sometimes they live in fantasy worlds of their own.

1 Other Wizards Include
2 Rights for Magicians
3 Where Found
4 See also

[edit] Other Wizards Include

Yes, this is a wizard too.

Aleister Crowley, who wore hats, and was very scary. Believed to be evil side of Saddam Hussein's comedy duo defence team. (Real Life. Not the TV series).
Harry Potter, who doesn't wear hats much, but does scary things like sleep in a room with a number of other British males.
Daniel Radcliffe wascows like toeat food

asses of Merlin, Albus Dumbledore, Alfred Dinkledorf, Harry Potter, Grindelwald, and Voldemort. Three times each.

Joe Pesci, who has commonly announced his wizarding abilities, but no one seems to care. After discovering the lack of the people's compassion towards hisgift, he immediately vanished himself into the 8th demention where he still resides today, though frequently making trips back to the US so that he can slap Kevin Costner every time he makes another movie.
Raistlin Majere, who probably had a hat, as well as a brother. (Dragonlance series, Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman.)
Elminster, an invincible wizard from the Forgotten Worlds, who is more frequently known by his Elven name, Ed Greenwood.
Rasputin, who wasn't really a wizard but whose name sounds enough like that Raistlin guy to get on the list. Oh, and who probably wore some kind of funky hat with a really cool beard. And plus, he had all the powers of hell at his command and created Hellboy. That and you can't kill him.
The brothers Ahmad Yassin and Saruman, Ahmad Yassin did his conjuring in the middle east, Saruman in the middle earth.
The Time Wizard lives in Timewizardston, Kansas. He steals the time from the people of the village/town, and uses it for nefarious purposes most foul, such as making beer really, really quickly, lazing about and eating tons of tacos, or making girls he's having intercourse with undergo reverse puberty, as he likes his eagles bald, and his bait jail. Time Wizard's real name is 'Steve', although that might just be a reference to Blues Clues. Previous reports that the Time Wizard lives in this land are utter fucking lies.

The evil wizard brothers Ahmad Yassin and Saruman

Gary Da Skinny Wizard, was the world's first wizard to go public with his anorexia. Gary was famous for casting spells on food. He once made a pizza look like an iron bell, and when he tried to eat it, he shattered six of his seven fangs. Da Skinny Wizard was also known to cram graham haphazardly.
Brian May, the only person legally allowed to wear a Wizard's robe in public in England.
Merlin Manson, older twin of Marilyn Manson. Often referred to as unintelligent, or as smart as a potato overdosed on heroin. One of the most unknown of wizards, mainly because he has never actually achieved anything. Once used his powers to sell records while looking like a transvestite. He is a 37 year old virgin, has a keen interest in toast, doesn't like Jewish people, and lost his wand in an unfortunate bumper car accident where a Jewish man rammed him, causing him to spin out and hurl his wand into one of Michael Moore's layers of fat where it was lost forever.
Negi Springfield, a famous wizard pimp, who draws in girls with stories of his childhood and then exploits their trust by renting them out as prostitutes. Currently is hiding from British officials in Japan, posing as a apprentice posing as a teacher.
Oil Company wizards are often found inside the large tanks in oil production plants. The job of these wizards is to transform water into oil in the least economical way possible producing the most harm to the environment. This is epically true in evaporators, no one know how these work other than a wizard does stuff inside

[edit] Rights for Magicians

Are the only group that likes wizards. They are one of the 52 groups who like magicians at this moment in time. In five seconds (or after you hit your 'refresh' button) the number will probably have completely changed. Their motto is: "Remember, even if you win the rat race... you're still a rat. They are a group of Rights for Magic.

[edit] Where Found

The best drawing of a wizard you will ever see

Wizards can usually be found nestling in forests. Walking through a forest you may hear an occasional "ooh oooh ooh". This can be attributed to the mating call of "The Forest Wizard" (Wizardus Homosexualus) During the spring, this species is at its best, So i went into the woods, with my trusty camera, to catch a glimpse of this marvellous breed.

I will publish my findings at a later date.

Greasy Ham