Wollongong

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Wollongong (pronounced "wool-an-gee-bang-a-gong") is a city in New South Wales. Wollongong is home to Australia's cultural elite, who fled Sydney during the great Sydney-Melbourne war of 1899, and proceeded to disguise their intellect by wearing singlet tops, track pants with no shoes, and by building a huge coal-powered steelworks right in the middle of the city centre. This ruse seems to have been far more effective than initially expected as subsequent generations have come to believe they really are singlet-wearing coal miners and steel workers. Another interesting fact is that Woolloongongong is close to 'Dapto', the lowest known point on the earth. It is debated whether or not it is in Australia or not, because it is easily 15 kms below sea level.

[edit] The meaning of "Woloongong"

"Woooolllongbongongoncatgonggonggogogogogong" is a name of Old Albanian origin which roughly translates to "this place is sort of nice, but it could really use a whopping big factory of some sort right about here". The name "Wollongongong" should not be confused with the similarly named "Paris".

Those few in Australia who have heard of Woolloongongong affectionately refer to it as "the Gong", in reference to the sound made on those tacky talent game shows used to remove contestants that are so bad they make you wish you were dead.

[edit] Origins

Wooolloongoongoong is surrounded by high cliffs to the west, and ocean to the east, and forms a natural cess-pit for creatures who, while walking in the forest, unexpectedly find the ground beneath their feet missing and experiencing a strange, falling sensation. Those creatures who fall into the Illarawarra basin rarely escape, and as a result the area has for thousands of years been home to a strange mix of flora and fauna whose only common link is a love of Barry Manilow and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.

"White man" arrived in Wollollongongongong sometime between 1:32pm and 2:15pm on a Wednesday afternoon, shortly before afternoon tea, when an expedition from Sydney in search of the legendary Golden Fleece of Bowral, fell down one of Woollonogogongong's numerous cliffs.

[edit] City Sights

Wollongongongongong is best known for its garbage disposal facilities and Aunty Jack walking around the streets with no clothes on; no trip to Wollongongongongongong would be complete without viewing these. There's apparently also some other stuff, but it isn't anywhere near as pleasant and should be avoided. Lake Illawarra is also rated as one of the world's least spectacular waterways, and is without a doubt a must-see. If you like cows, Jamberoo is the place for you!(remember to take in a hodown!)

[edit] Famous Facts

The current mayor of Wollongong, Pat McGroin is distantly related to emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars saga and often flexes his dark powers by electrocuting the locals.
George Harrison, of the Beatles, was once mayor of Wollongong.
Julius Caesar conquered Wollongong in 1252AD, where he opened a chain of Italian restaurants named after his brother, Bernard. The chain is still running strongly today, with a gross income of $27 billion per year.
Captain Cook would have chosen Wollongong as the site of Australia's first city if not for the fact that he didn't want to.
Wollongong and Newcastle, on either side of Sydney, have long held a rivalry over who exactly is the countries most polluted city.
The square root of 9 is 3, except on Tuesdays where its a little closer to 2.999.
In Wollongong no one can hear you scream, unless if you use a megaphone, when you will get arrested.