Workahol
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Workahol, a highly intoxicating drink, is made mostly from the light from computer screens
and neck ties. The tackier and more constricting the nectie, the more potent. Also, if the monitor image is dim, tinted, or blurry, its effectiveness increases exponentially. Workahol is drunk from around 9 to 5 on weekdays by many of the population of the world. Also, closely related to the word "creamination" which is the vaginal excretion of mucus.
[edit] Intoxication
Workahol numbs the senses until the body becomes some sort of a robot programmed for doing pointless tasks, such as staff meetings. It also highly increases sex drive and stress levels. Pregnant women who have to take maternity leave from long worked in jobs often experience withdrawal symptoms; this is the reason for the morning sickness and inexplicable cravings.
Many people are intoxicated with workahol while driving. This is also known as using one's portable phone or laptop pc while driving.
[edit] Making Effective Workahol
Why the hell would you want to do that?! It's more destructive than crack! Well, if you insist, but Uncyclopedia can't be held responsible for the repercussions. you will need:
- a monitor, preferably old and dark
- flourescent lights (helps in the distilling process)
- an assortment of patterned necties
- a water cooler (for mixing)
- 1 cup of coffee (optional)
- empty the jug of the water cooler. Place the flat end against the monitor.
- insert neckties, and swirl. (opt) pour in coffee to help dissolve neckties more speedily.
- close the end of the jug, lay the monitor on the floor screen up, and rest the jug on it.
- repeat 5 days a week. For best results, use depressing fluorescent lights in the area.
- drink down. You should have at least a week's supply. In the mean time, work on the next batch.
[edit] Danger!
Workahol is a highly dangerous substance, that should be used as little as possible. Instead, use the more sedative, calming Lazyahol. It is a known fact that the majority of American adults (more than 70%) ingest workahol regularly. This alarming statistic is heighten by the astonishing fact that of those, a staggering 60% abuse workahol regularly. In a recent survey, 40% claimed to see no way out of the addiction. Don't become another statistic! Stop the abuse cycle now!
