World Cup Germany 2006
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“Ve vill vin ze Vorld Coop!”
~ Germans on World Cup
“I love watching the World Cup. I love watching the skilful play. I love watching all those strong men swap shirts at the end of a match...”
~ Oscar Wilde on World Cup
“Those Germans pay well!”
~ Devil on World Cup
“Don't mention the score!”
~ Basil Fawlty on World Cup 1966
“E tu, brute”
~ Cesar on World Cup
“Mr. Blobby? Is he still on the telly?”
~ Oscar Wilde on irrelvant quotes
As you all know, the FOFA World Cup in Germany has now started and there are very worrying results in it. There are also rumours that the Germans are worshipping the devil who promised them that they would win the cup if they put 666 in their logo; they did.
The cup was won by the Italian diving team, who replaced the regular Italian soccer team after the prettyboys suffered paper cuts during their contract signings. The Italian diving team's perfect display was seen in the match against sporting giants and soccer minnows Australia. Italy won 1-0 after a superb dive from star diver Gino Fangulo.
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[edit] Dangerous Play
It is a danger playing in the cup, not because of fouling out, but rather if you beat a team they might get angry and do something to your nation. Something has already happened in one match, Mexico vs Iran. At the start of the match all of the people from Iran looked peaceful, but no! At the end, when Mexico beat Iran 3 to 1 they got furious and now the Iranian Governement have decided to wipe Mexico off the map,but Unknown Paraguay Wiped Out Iran off the map. Many countries are afraid of having a match vs. USA; they are worried because they think that the same thing would happen to them. They know they are going to beat them, even Angola beats them! Big teams like Brazil or England are afraid of beating USA because if USA doesn't win the World Cup there would be World War III instead of a World Cup. And again, the Americans would blame Germany for starting the war.
Winner - Italy
Mysterious World Cup Results
Argentina won 6-0 to Sadism and Masochism; Nerdland 2-1 to Ebony Coast, Inkland 2-0 to Trinidad y Tobacco, Italy 2-0 to Ghana, Tibecuador 2-0 to Pole-land,Ukraine 4-0 to Terrorists, and Czech kingdom 3-0 to the ASU. If you add 6, 2, 1, 2, 2, 2, 4, and 3 you get 22. 22 divided by 3 is 66. Three sixes: 666! Ooooh, scary!
[edit] Top 4 candidates for the Antichrist of 2006
- David Beckham ( voted "British Antichrist of the Year" by the Times Magazine)
- Michael Ballack (Descendant from Hitler, real name Michael Johnny Hitler Ballack)
- Oliver Kahn (Kahn means devil in...um... some language, and when I find which one it is, I'll let you know)
- Zinedine Zidane (He's French.)
- Luca Toni (Hates black people. Need I say more?)
Note: We know there are 5 candidates. You would be wise not to question FOFA enumeration policy.
[edit] FOFA
The FOFA (Federation Of Federated Associations)has been running for a very long time, 2 days. It is owned by a very rich man called Federich Ospal Fros Anties, who coincidentally, has the same initals. Anties, nicknamed Frostie, was born in 1966 in Egypt. His parents were killed in an accident when a football hit them in the head. Because of this, he got the bright idea of playing football, instead of going on some crusade against all footballers. When he was 13 he found out that he was bad at this sport when he killed someone by kicking him instead of the ball. One would think he would have gone on that crusade to kill all footballers then, but no, he still liked the sport. When he was 22, he created FOFA. He is now married to Eucaspi Quispe de La Flor. He has two children, a boy (Pepe Ospal Quispe) and a girl (Pancrasia Ospal Quispe).
[edit] War of the World Cup
The highly anticipated sequel to the 2005 film, “War of the Worlds” has taken over $6000 at the box office. “War of the World II – Germany 2006” has been widely regarded as the film of the year and is tipped to sweep the major prizes at the Academy Awards. Tom Cruise, star of “War of the Worlds”, told Washington Post that he regrets not signing with Team USA for the sequel, stating that his role could have earned the United States the Best Team Oscar. Zidanine Zidane is tipped to win the Best Actor Oscar for France for his role as the Intergalactic Terrorist. Sepp Blatter is tipped to win his third consecutive, Best Director Oscar.
