World War VII
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| World War VII | |
|---|---|
| War began: 2100 | |
| War finished: 2143 | |
| Place: Europe | |
| Result: Meteor destroys Washington D.C. | |
Impacts of War: America is wiped out
| |
| Fighting parties of War | |
| Side 1 United States of America | Side 2 Great Britain |
“I've covered this war.”
~ Frank West on World War VII
“Why does this sound so familiar?”
~ Yoshinori Kitase on World War VII
World War VII was the grand return of the World War series, featuring for the first time full 3D graphics, a modern setting and a full length narrative.
The War lasted from 2100 until 2143; making it the longest World War to date.
Contents |
[edit] The Starting Conflict
President Dick Cheney, not wanting his 35-year streak as president to end, used the United States Military to destroy the entire Asian force in his so-called war against terror, stating that as long as he was president, America would remain a safer place; and America, being the ignorant retards they are, allowed him. The country of Great Britain expressed their hostility towards the war, but refused to get involved. Dick Cheney continued his slaughter of Asia, ending it five years later.
The war however, took a lot of American tax dollars, so in a freak planning accident, President Dick created America's Neo-Industrial Phase, allowing corporations to build what they want, as long as they paid taxes. Washington DC ended up being reconstructed into a massive power plant/weapon factory/base of operations. Due to the high amount of pollution in the air, the sky became darker and darker, until it was a perpetual night, gaining the famous quote by the Berlinlandstan leader:
“The sun never rises on the American Empire.”
~ Erwin Rommel on America
[edit] The Shit Hits the Fan...
Al Gore, expressing his hatred towards President Dick's non-environmental views, published the movie, An Inconvenient Truth: Even More Inconvenient (Or in the Middle East, America Sucks 6. Dick, not liking Al's distaste for him, had the global warming activist publicly assassinated. This set Britain over the deep end, causing them to go to war with America. France soon joined in, hoping to finally assert their place in history as fighters, and not faggots. This proved to be wrong however, when America sent their first wave of soldiers into Paris, causing France to surrender. Shortly after, Poland joins the fray, lead by John Kerry.
[edit] The War Thickens
Soon after Poland joins, John Kerry uses their secret weapon. This is of course a huge mistake, as rules state that secret weapons should come out when you have almost lost and are using a last ditch effort. But such was not the case for Kerry, who had completely forgotten that rule; and launched a full on square wave bombardment upon the west coast of America, deafening over a hundred million innocent civilians.
The secret weapon, developed by revered former President George W. Bush, was 3500 Hz of sound. Soon after the weapon is revealed, Switzerland immediately declared its neutrality (yet again), thus depriving the Allies of 0.0000022% of their industrial base. This proves to be fatal as Cheney then appoints long time friend and hunting partner Harry Whittington as administrator.
Whittington diverts the majority of the troops to wipe out the Polish, leaving England completely alone in the war. England, unable to admit defeat, continued to fight America.
[edit] American Downfall
England's budget ran out in the last third of the war, causing them to send less and less troops to the front lines, causing America to gain the upper hand. Erwin Rommel, seeing this as the perfect chance to show the world how bad he pwns, immediately declares war on America, and uses the Berlinlandstanian forces to drive the Americans back to their home soil.
Cheney, totally pissed off at this point, releases his secret weapon upon the world, a big fuckin' Meteor. This gives the world seven days to defeat America or die. Either way, they were screwed. England quickly surrenders, hoping to be spared. Berlandstan however, launches the Triton III, a rocket that fire several nuclear warheads that fire satellites that shoot lasers into the meteor. The rocket/nuclear warhead/lasers fail to destroy the meteor, but, in a freak coincidence, alter the meteor's course towards Washington DC. The Meteor crashes into the capitol, ultimately destroying all of America.
[edit] Aftermath
“Cheeky bastards.”
~ Cpt. Price on England
Despite ultimately winning the war, Berlinlandstan was ignored; England took all the glory. This caused Berlinlandstan to refuse in joining in the American reconstruction act, causing the ties between England and Berlinlandstan to be severed. Erwin Rommel began to focus his tank brigade on his new border with England.
England, struggling to restore their economy, at first ignored Berlinlandstan's vague threats, but soon, after they got back up on their feet, began a full militarization, waiting for Berlinlandstan to strike. Berlinlandstan did the same, causing the second Cold War to begin...
| World Wars |
| I | I 1/2 | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | X | IX | XI 1/2 | XIV | XV | XVII | XVIII | XX |
| The Second World War II | World War π | World War Revolution | World War Collectors Boxset | The Video Game | The Sequel to the Video Game | The Board Game | World War What |


