World of Warcraft The Virus
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“AIDS is to gay people what World of Warcraft is to nerds.”
~ Oscar Wilde on World of Warcraft
The game known to many as World Of Warcraft is actually a virus that will soon encompass all if we do not act quickly to end its tyrannical reign.
Contents |
[edit] Symptoms
- Loss of interest in anything other than World of Warcraft
- Scheduling everything in World of Warcraft time
- Weight gain
- Permanent, set grooves in the chair/couch/bed they play in
- Loss of loved ones (especially girlfriends)
- Carpal Tunnal
- Bed Sores
- Blackheads
- Cysts
- Listening to Bullet for My valentine (EMO!!!!!!!!!)
- Eventual death
[edit] Cures
At present, there is no known cure to the World of Warcraft virus. However, there are ways of slowing down its spread and temporary destructionatory methods of dispelling its horror.
[edit] Slowing its Spread
- First of all, DO NOT BUY WORLD OF WARCRAFT
- Try to make sure that your friends do not buy World of Warcraft
- Threaten to kill everyone you know who plays it
- Do kill everyone you know who plays it
- Spit every time you hear the name
[edit] Temporary Destructionatory Methods
- Take a bat to all computers in your tri-county area that contain the virus. This will also help prevent its spread.
- Shoot the television every time you see a commercial advertising World of Warcraft, and make sure you wash out your eyes with extra strong soap.
- Kick the shit out of anyone you know who plays it on the grounds that they are major nerds with no life (which is completely true).
- Blow up any stores and anything that sells it.
[edit] Future
Although we cannot stop this virus completely, we can at least try to slow it down until we can come up with a total cure. Do not lose hope. Research has begun on the epidemic and the group is completly lost because they too have succumbed to the horror. (WTF?! Im raiding BT leave me alone!)
