Worst 100 Lists of All Time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

According to God's True Word, the following are the Worst 100^[1] Lists ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

Contents:  100-91 • 90-81 • 80-71 • 70-61 • 60-51 • 50-41 • 40-31 • 30-21 • 20-11 • 10-1

[edit] 100-91

100. Top Ten tasteless representations of the prophet Mohammed

99. The Goth's Guide

A list of all the things that make you Gothic. This includes emo cutting, buying clothes at Hot Topic, and conceited, delusional fantasies about being "different" and "rebellious."

98. Worst 100 Lists of All Time

That's right, the one you're looking at. Did I just blow your fucking mind?

97. Things I've Had Sex With

Madonna made this list when asked just how big of a slut she was. It is one of the longest lists in all of known existence, and readers may feel compelled to gouge their eyes out.

96. Things that people write lists about

Dogs, Porn, other lists.....

95. List of Uncyclopedians who have never had an article featured on the front page

Seriously, if you can't manage our pathetic standard of humor, you must be some kind of brain-dead monkey. Well, a brain-dead monkey without internet access.

94. List of Things to do in Nebraska

There is nothing on this list, just like Nebraska.

93. Top 20 Gangsta Folk Songs

A little-known genre, this list featured such obscure gems as "Crack Rock Candy Mountain" and "John Henry Was A Steel-Drivin' Nigga."

92. Living Things Found Growing Inside Roseanne's Fat Folds

Includes several species once thought to be extinct.

91. Stains Found on the Back of Grandpa's Pants.

[edit] 90-81

90. GameFAQs Counts Down the Top 5 Most Effeminate and Angsty Final Fantasy Villains with Silver Hair and Really Big Swords

For once, Sephiroth lost.

89. Worst Peanuts Specials

Features such animated abortions as Bestiality is Illegal, Charlie Brown and Come Out of the Closet, Charlie Brown, in which Peppermint Patty cynically explains what a "cleveland steamer" is.

88. MTV's Favorite Poseurs

A pop-punk and hip-hop extravaganza, co-hosted by Jessie Camp and Poochie the Rockin' Dog.

87. Best Genocides of All Time

A slaughtering good time!

86. Most Delicious Endangered Species

Pandas top the list.

85. 25 Best Midi Ringtones

"Crazy Frog" inexplicably didn't make the cut.

83. Lists that miss out numbers from the sequence

See what I did there?

82. My favourite Martians

Currently Marvin.

81. People who will find themselves with their backs against the wall come the revolution

Currently includes Bush, Blair, and Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

[edit] 80-71

80. List of people who have been banned from the Internet

furries, trolls, porn-watchers, and the impolite. This list has everything!

79. List of things that are about other versions of the thing on the list

Books about authors, movies about movies, dreams within a dream, and lists about lists (or in this case, lists about lists about lists about lists^[2]). Just looking at this list is enough to make you go insane. This list also begs the question of what would happen if an author wrote a book about himself writing a book; most reasonable scientists think that the Universe would explode, although several maintain that it would instead unsplode.

78. David Letterman's Top Ten Things to Stick Up Your Ass

A rejected Top Ten List on Late Night. They pulled it because there was a fear that somebody somewhere actually would stick something up their ass that was on the list. David himself was number seven.

77. 100 Worst Sheep Diseases

Compiled by a coalition of lonely New Zealander and Scottish farmers, syphilis, herpes, and gonorrhea all make a very disturbing appearance (quite literally, since the list included explicit photos).

76. Top Ten "Games" to Play at Uncyclopedia

Currently the "Delete other people's content" game is narrowly holding off the "7 degrees of separation" game.

75. Top 50 Jokes about the Holocaust

"How many Jews does it take," etc. etc.

74. Cool Reasons to be a Scientologist

The whole reason for the list is to distract you as they slip the mind serum into your drink. Tom Cruise and John Travolta prefer to wait until you reach number 4 on the list, "Cuz the book has a wicked volcano on the cover," then sneak behind you with a club as you're laughing hysterically.

73. Ice Cream Flavors organized by carb count

IT'S ICE CREAM, YOU HIPPIE BASTARDS!!! It's not supposed to be healthy or good for you. If you don't want to be fat or happy, go shove that carrot up your ass and be lean and bitter. I'm going on to my second tub of Chunky Monkey.

72. The All-Time Best Streaks of Mark Roberts

A list of the top streaks performed by the famed British streaker, Mark Roberts. The first one was funny, the rest are just-plain annoying.

71. My List of What To Do Today

I've had this thing for 3 years and I've never been able to bring myself around to completing anything on it. Its the "wake up and get out of bed" part that's screwing me up.

[edit] 70-61

70. Worst 100 signatures of all time

El Barto they are not.

69. Worst 100 Crayola crayon colors of all time

If you thought "Prussian Blue" and "Flesh" were offensive, you haven't seen "French Yellow", "Vomit Gray", and "Hemophilia Red".

68. Worst 100 genital tattoos of all time

67. 100 Best Practical Jokes Involving Sulfuric Acid

66. 100 Best Contributions to Society of Sparky McGuillicutty

He just totally sucks. In every way.

65. Things found in Richard Gere's ass

Now only 38 percent rodents!

64. Incomplete List of Basic Articles

63. Worst 100 Self-Contained Lists of All Time

62. Time Magazine's 10 Best Reasons Why O.J. is Guilty

Five involve circumstantial evidence, the other five are just "Look how black we made him on the cover!"

61. Kathy Griffin's Private Joke File

It's a hilariously uncomfortable time. Especially when your girlfriend is laughing on the floor at jokes like, "Jerry Seinfeld is sooooo weeeeird."

[edit] 60-51

60. Sharper Image Catalog for the Amish.

59. List of Ethnic Slurs

It's fully condoned by Wikipedia.

58. 100 Worst Sheep Diseases

The list isn't finished (or started) yet, but it already sucks.

57. List of Every White Person on the Planet

56. Franz Liszt

55. List of angry white people with beards

From Santa Clause to Rosie O'Donnel.

54. List of stupid things G.W has done

It's too damn long!

53. Top 100 things not to put up your nose

52. List of the itchiest sweaters of all time

Just looking at the list makes you want to to rip your skin off.

51. List of all the thing Rosie O'Donnell can eat in a day

I still can’t believe she was able to eat the whole school bus.

[edit] 50-41

50. List of the 100 worst Japanese Pop Songs

You just don't wanna know, so just don't mention listening to it.

49. List of the 100 worst Places for Masturbation

Just plain bad, and really didn't need the pictures.

47. Romanian contributions to mankind

From gypsies to Dracula.

46. List of famous jackass idiots

Too fucking long!

45. FBI's Least Wanted

They don't care if the Bedfellow Bandit is turned in.

44. Planets in the Solar System

Pluto, where are you Pluto?

84. Numbers from the sequence that migrated somewhere else

What's this doing here?

43. List of the Times Bugs Bunny Cross-Dressed

42. List of Homer Simpson's jobs

41. Bluto lookalikes that Popeye beat up.

[edit] 40-31

40. List of Lists that never made it to number one.

Hay look this page is on here.

39. List of cartoon characters the Catholic church want's to get rid of.

Jesus from the bible channel is on the list.

38. List of people not cool enough to make it on a list

mind boggling.

37. The RE List

36. 100 Things to Do In Elko.

35. List of Sims games

34. 100 men Elton John had sex with last year

33. List of people who have crabs

32. Top 10 people who hate You 

Me, Your mom, ect.

31. List of things your boss says has to get done at work

[edit] 30-21

30. List of best selling Beanie Babies and Pogs

29. People who eat your lunch at work

28. List of most famous people who are furries

27. List of movies about Bob Dole

26. Top 100,000 things Tom Cruise does to be a retard

25. List of all the things George Bush has done right

WAAAAAAY too friggin' short

24. List of ways to praise Microsoft

23. Top 2 things Paris Hilton has said that have been semi-intelligent

22. List of ways to shit in an intricate fashion

21. List of people who enjoy Baywatch

[edit] 20-11

20. Top 50 things

19. Top 10 Uncyclopedia users whose name has the word noob in it

18. Top 22 ways Kenny was killed

17. List of good yo mama jokes

16. List of uncyclopedia articles that didn't deserve to be on the front page 

Euroipods, I'm looking at you!

15. List of Uncyclopedia Articles With Hidden Text.

14. Top 40 Worst ways to admit you have hemorrhoids to your lover. Foreword by Jerry Stiller.

13. Top 100 famous people from 100 shows that are on VH1,MTV,TVland and about every cable channel every week. That talk about the 100 best or worse whatever programs that they are not in.

12. Top 100 times Template:Mike banged their own mom.

11. Schindler's List

[edit] 10-1

10. Hitler's Top Ten Ways to Please Your Man

An Ironic list made in the 5 minutes between when Hitler decided to sympetise with homosexual males rather then killing them and his eventual suicide.

9. The Numbers

An Anthology

8. List of the 100 best brands of CD/DVD lables

7. List of the best Simpsons episodes in the past 5 years.

6. The 5 people who liked the movie The Adventures of Pluto Nash

5. Top 2 Of Uncyclopedia lists that have correct numeration.

4. Top 100 Future Disasters That You Can't Do Anything About.

3. List of Most Popular Sockpuppet Accounts.

2. Top Zero Most Modest Vanity Pages.

1. Men Claiming Paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter

In the classic example of the phrase "Victim of its own success", this list eventually grew so large that it was deleted for falling foul of Uncyclopedia's No-List policy. And, in the classic example of the phrase "life imitates art", it even managed to predict potential claimants before they had publicly declared themselves to be so in real life (e.g. O.J. Simpson).

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^ 1. God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticise divine numeration policy.

^ 2. Don't worry about it, it's a temporal paradox. Not even Steven Hawking gets this one.

[edit] Honorable Mention

• 40 fun things to do at Best Buy
• 25 Things not to do at a Stop Sign
• 14 signs of Apocalypse
• Top 10 Things to do When You're Dead
• Peak to Peak