Worst 100 Ringtones of All Time

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100. April Fools Jokes
99. Bands
98. Cars
97. Celebrity Endorsements
96. Children's Books
95. Colours
94. Computer Games
93. Cryptic Crossword Clues
92. Direct-to-Video Movies
91. Diseases Your Ex-Wife Could Have
90. Firefox extensions
89. Food
88. Football variants
87. Inventions
86. Lists
85. Locations
84. Look alikes
83. Make Out Songs
82. Money Making Schemes
81. Movies
80. Nonexistent Words
79. Numbers
78. Nutty Conspiracy Theories
77. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
76. Pick-up lines
75. Pokemon Cash-Ins
74. Porn Movies
73. Porn Stars
72. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
71. Reasons to become a Christian
70. Reflections on 2005
69. Reflections on 2006
68. Reflections on 2007
67. Reflections on 2008
66. Remakes
65. Restaurants
64. Ringtones
63. Self Help Books
62. Sequels
61. Sexual Perversions
60. Short Poems
59. Sitcom Catchphrases
58. Songs
57. Songs about Seagulling
56. Songs Referencing Paedophilia
55. Songs To Have Sex To
54. Spinoffs
53. Suicide Ideas
52. Superheroes
51. Things
50. Things to do during Christmas
49. Things to Put In An IV
48. Things to say on a First Date
47. Things to Stick your Dick in
46. Toys
45. TV Programs
44. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
43. Video Game Movies
42. Video Game Systems
41. Ways to be Circumcized
40. Ways to Deliver Bad News
39. Ways to Die (Best)
38. Ways to Die (Worst)
37. Ways to Start a Novel
36. Ways to Win an Argument
35. Wonders of the World


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The factual accuracy of this article is absolutely indisputable.

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According to Crazy Frog's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Ringtones ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

* Crazy Frog does not care to count this list too closely, and viewers are wise not to criticise amphibian numeration policy.

114. Tune from the "Funeral March"
113.AAAAAAAAA!
112. Asthma
Like 'Heavy Breathing', but with a bit more wheeze
111. Power Cut
Doesn't last long
110. Diahrhea
You phone going off in the bathroom couldn't possibly gross more people out.
109. Vomiting
Wait, yes it can!
108. Troubled pregnancy
Making Pregnant Women feel bad.
107. Satanic rantings of Osama Bin Laden 
People nearby will hit the floor.
106. Fellatio sucking noise 
Uncomfortable for everyone except whores.
105. Baby in a blender
3 optional settings.
104. "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world....."
103. (eerie voice)
"The voices told me to clean the guns..."
102. Cockring
A strong "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" at full volume makes you the instant centre of attention at any cockfighting ring.
101. Theme from Mork and Mindy
100. Wet fart
Follow through in style! Only available in monofonic version.
99. Dick van Dyke
"Cor blimey, sheila"
98. Blue Whale song
Only available in realistic volume version.
97. Heart attack
Infectious ringtone is what buyers of this ringtone say.
96. Ricky Gervais' Monkey Dance
95. Billy Jean
Blocks calls from your lover
94. "FUCK YOU!" 
You can almost hear the last seconds of your life ticking down.
93. 1953 F.A. Cup Final
Full coverage of Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers with match commentary by Kenneth Wolstenholme.
92. Toilet flushing
Hilarious!
91. John Major
"Oh, yes!"
90. "You have two cows!"
...and one amazing ringtone!
89. Kelly Clarkson swearing profusely
(XXX!)
88. Princess Diana car crash
87. Richard and Judy
86. Approaching footsteps
85. Paris Hilton sex tape
Available to subscribers only!
84. Liquor store robbery gone wrong
83. George Bush blunder 1
"Mah fellow Arabians"
82. Retirement Home
"Wherf muh teef? *cough*"
81. Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah
80. Milk Bottles clinking
79. Irritating McDonalds jingle
"I'm lovin' it"
78. Ron Jeremy climaxing
oh oh UHHHhhnn!!
77. Coldplay - Clocks
Zzz!!
76. Annoying neighbour
(very, VERY annoying)
75. Dripping Tap
Guaranteed to cause insomnia!
74. "D'oh!"
Classic Homer Simpson line!
73. Tumbleweed
72. Larry the Cable Guy farts.
71. Microsoft Office Paper clip
Brings back memories!
70. Echo
Echo!!
69. "Dude, where's my car?"
68. Elton John singing the word "cum"
67. Dog being shot
Hilarious!
66. Television static
65. Pin dropping
64. "There's a lion behind you!"
63. Jamie Oliver moaning
62. Child falling over Niagra Falls
5.1 surround sound!
61. Dentist's drill
60. Manical laughter
Infectious!
59. 1987 Tory Party conference
58. Car Alarm
(20 mins)
57. Splitting headache
56. Foghorn
Realistic volume!
55. "You've got cancer"
Hilarious!
54. Kitten huffing noises
53. Bomb ticking
52. Flashback noise
51. Swedish Chef
Bork!
50. Burp!
49. Eastenders
"You slag!"
48. 47
46. Big Bird telling everyone to fuck off
(XXX!)
45. George Bush blunder 2
"Ich bin ein Nazi!"
44. Heavy Breathing
Huuuuuh Haaaaaaah HHHuuuuuuuuh
43. X-Ray machine
(vision only)
42. 2000 unsold mobile phones ringing in an empty warehouse
41. "Timber!"
(Not Justin Timberlake)
40. Justin Timberlake
"I'm lovin' it"!
39. Walt Disney racial slur
38. Scathing remarks about you and your friends
37. Beard rustling
36. Michael Moore reciting the alphabet backwards
35. Self destruct warning
Run!
34. Oscar Wilde
33. "Let me just say this about that"
32. 9/11
31. Call from your mother
Don't forget to wash behind your ears!
30. Voice of God
Arthuuuur Arthuuuur.
29. Premature ejaculation
Embarrassing!
28. Lynyrd Skynyrd
(sinister backwards messages)
27. Angry doormouse
Guaranteed to scare people
26. Pentium jingle
25. Theme from The Dambusters
24. Genital warts
(itching only)
23. "You noob!"
22. Harmonica being played badly
(very badly)
21. Emphysema
20. Italian National Anthem
Fatboy Slim remix
19. Bee
BzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZzZzz.
18. Plane crash
17. Britney Spears breastfeeding
Oh, baby, baby!!
16. Polystyrene rubbing against blackboard
Annoy your friends!
15. Christopher Eccleston
"You fucking cunt!"
14. Death March (Also Known As Anything by Shostakovich)
13. "What'chu talkin' about, Willis?"
12. Gunfire
11. The first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan
10. Dr. Who themetune
Spooky!
Can't argue wit dat!
Can't argue wit dat!
9. Sneezing fit
8. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky; Try to take over the world"
7. Firework exploding in your ear
6. Baby crying all fucking night
Really lasts all fucking night. Send it to your enemies!
5. 10 o' clock news
With Trevor McDonald!!
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Who is your daddy?"
3. Awkward Silence
2. X Factor try-out
With rebuttal by Simon Cowell!
1. Crazy Frog
Jacques Chirac loses it!
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Worst_100_Ringtones_of_All_Time"
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