Worst 100 Ways of Being a Dick
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The All-Time 100 Worst:
- 100. April Fools Jokes
- 99. Bands
- 98. Cars
- 97. Children's Books
- 96. Colours
- 95. Computer Games
- 94. Cryptic Crossword Clues
- 93. Direct-to-Video Movies
- 92. Diseases Your Ex-Wife Could Have
- 91. Firefox extensions
- 90. Food
- 89. Football variants
- 88. Inventions
- 87. Lists
- 86. Locations
- 85. Make Out Songs
- 84. Money Making Schemes
- 83. Movies
- 82. Nonexistent Words
- 81. Numbers
- 80. Nutty Conspiracy Theories
- 79. Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
- 78. Pick-up lines
- 77. Pokemon Cash-Ins
- 76. Porn Movies
- 75. Porn Stars
- 74. Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
- 73. Reasons to become a Christian
- 72. Reflections on 2005
- 71. Reflections on 2006
- 70. Reflections on 2007
- 69. Reflections on 2008
- 68. Remakes
- 67. Restaurants
- 66. Ringtones
- 65. Self Help Books
- 64. Sequels
- 63. Sexual Perversions
- 62. Short Poems
- 61. Sitcom Catchphrases
- 60. Songs
- 59. Songs about Seagulling
- 58. Songs Referencing Paedophilia
- 57. Songs To Have Sex To
- 56. Spinoffs
- 55. Suicide Ideas
- 54. Superheroes
- 53. Things
- 52. Things to do during Christmas
- 51. Things to Put In An IV
- 50. Things to say on a First Date
- 49. Things to Stick your Dick in
- 48. Toys
- 47. TV Programs
- 46. Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
- 45. Video Game Movies
- 44. Video Game Systems
- 43. Ways to be Circumcized
- 42. Ways to Deliver Bad News
- 41. Ways to Die (Best)
- 40. Ways to Die (Worst)
- 39. Ways to Start a Novel
- 38. Ways to Win an Argument
- 37. Wonders of the World
- 36. Top 100 Not In The Least Bit Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
Among the many ways of being a dick, the following have been found the closest to that of Superman after saving a child from drowning in the north pole:
[edit] The list
23. Discover that the only dictionary search result for your name is "Gay". [1]
22. You're Mr. Garrison's first dick.
21. You're Mr. Garrison's second dick.
20. You're Dubya's first dick.
19. You're Dubya's second dick.
18. You're Hillary's first lady.
17. You're Dick's second lady.
16. Have a Revolting Cock write a song about how much of a dick you are. [2]
15. Make people actually wish you were Al Gore.
14-12. Be white, bald and cocky.
11. Never get the right quail. [3]
10. Have the truest sentence in the Wikipedia article about you get written by mistake. [4]
9. Have an autograph which could be modified to look like this: 
8. Have the name Dick and still get a job for someone called Bush.
7. Polka in public.
5. Let a guy called Scooter be your Chief of Staff.
4. Get involved in a freak quail-accident while being George Bush's vice president, yet at the same time still not be Dan Quayle.
3. Shoot a realy old guy in the face.
2. Be the target of a suicide attack in which over twenty other people have died, almost exactly a year after you shot a pesron in the face after mistaking him for a quail.
1. Make a realy old guy publicly apologize to you for the fact that you shot him in the face.
[edit] References
- ↑ Wiktionary "Dick" entry
- ↑ Cock Song
- ↑ A quailing tip
- ↑ "As Vice President, Cheney is also the President of the United States"
