Worst 100 Ways to Die of All Time

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A friendly reminder from your friends at uncyclopedia

Let's face it, people die. And some deaths are just too horrible to handle, according to most people. Luckily for you, we've compiled this convenient list of the "100+ worst ways to die of all time". When you're dying, just think of this list. Is your style of death included in it? If so, then your life actually had meaning!

Dying sucks. Many of us on the planet realize this. Be it through any kind of action, blind luck, or a very angry mob coming after you to rips off your genitals and spank you, dying sucks. There are, also, some ways that you just dont want to die. These very unfortunate ways are not ones to be repeated. These ways have been experimented with and behind each way is a person of relative importance or just plain ignorance who had died by that method.

[edit] The List

154. Being deep fried alive. You would burn and eventually you would have to open your mouth to inhale, letting in the burning oil and deep frying your lungs

153. Go to the time displacement chamber travel back to the year before you were born, and kill your mother!

152. By looking at this:

151.

150. Being banned from Uncyclopedia and Encyclopedia Dramatica at the same time

149. Staying in an infinite loop that you can't get out of

148. Clicking this link

147.

146. Being torched

145.5 Being forced to hit F5, then look at 146 again

145. Being Super Freaked'.

144. Snapping your back during an intense session of autofellatio and choking on you dick during your orgasm, sperm oozing down your windpipe

143. Getting run over by an ambulance.

142. Death by safety scissors.

141. Being Aborted.

141. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWgBAXJWcuM

141. Making out with a hyeana or rabid wolverine

140. Being raped and decapitated by a teddy bear with a thirst for blood and man flesh. Mmm, crispy.

139. Sacrifice yourself for someone when he/she will also die in 1 minute after your death

138. Cracking open a egg and finding a fully formed chicken --- And then cooking it into your omelet anyway --- and then choking on its tiny bones.

137. Accidentaly drinking that milk that you had left in the cupboard for the last month or so.

136. the turtle was slow

135. nibbled to death by a turtle

134. Being run over by a trailer ---- seven times.

133. Waking up a dead person, and then realizing that they are dead, makes you have a heart attack, and then THEY wake YOU up dead.

132. Waking up dead.

131. By teasing Prof. Snape about his greasy hair, and them him telling you that, "What do you think we cook your chips in?!"

130. Eating a funny whelk.

129. Being a vampire and sucking out someones blood and after they yell "haha, I have AIDS!!".

128. Realizing that 127 is true

127. Realizing that 128 is false

126. Reading this list

125. Talking too much leet, for example: 101 1 m 73 1337 1 p\/\/N u n008.

124 1/2. trying to figure out what 125 says ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

124. Attempting to solve hunger by not eating

123. Eyes melting due to watching way too much television

122. "This time for sure!"

121. Ultimate World of Warcraft Marathon

120. Trampled by fluffy kittens who were fluffy

119. Signing up for Battle Royale for fun

116. Relazing that 3 numbers are missing --- oh, wait! 20-16= hmmmm! that's not three! oh well

115. Mind explosion related to to much minesweeper

111. A massive potato blight

110. "In Soviet Russia, food eats you!"

109. Being stabbed to death by a small Filipino with a plastic spork from taco bell

108. Over-exposure to Redundancy

107. Over-exposure to Redundancy

106. Anything related to MySpace

105. Super AIDS

104. Fatal case of Saturday night fever

103. Over-exposure to Redundancy

102. Murdered for being really fucking annoying.

101. Papercut inflicted by Giant Paper

100. Death by snoo-snoo! --- YAY!

99. Autopsy Results: Subject was alive while at the start of the autopsy. *cough* We have rectified that accordingly

98. Razor blades and rubbing alcohol.

97. Getting birthday punches when you turn 100.

96. Bigpox.

95. Refering to football hooligans as soccer hooligans.

94. Alien lays eggs inside your chest (---- and dying of hunger: how are you meant to eat them there?!? i mean, for god's sake!).

93. Illegal alien lays tile floor inside your chest, turns out to be unliscenced contractor.

92. Arms magically replaced with angry wolverines.

91. Getting to level 8-1 without using any warpzones, only to fall into that stupid double pit, like, five times in a row.

90. Anything involving hillbilles who hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher after drowning you with stupid knock-knock jokes.

89. Auto-erotic asphyxiation accident (for the kids at home, let me put this into layman's terms: you've just hanged yourself while wanking).

88. Auto-erotic decapitation accident.

87. Premature reincarnation.

86.5 Reverse diarrhea.

86. Being 86'ed in the Game

85.

84. Castration By Wooden Spoon (May not kill you but you would wish you were dead by the end)

83. Tiny Submarine regains full size inside your body before tumor is removed (not every story has a happy ending like Timmy's Fairly Odd Parents).

82. Goatse.cx related brain explosion.

81. Decapitation Disease

80. You're not a cannibal but your conjoined twin is.

79. Your conjoined twin is not a cannibal, but you are.

78. As an elderly virgin (over 40).

77. Being done to death (jokes only).

76. Scared to death.

75. Scared to death by possibility of being scared to death.

74. Scared to death by possibility of being scared to death by the possibility of being scared to death.

73. Etc.

72. Getting pwned by hungry whales from Japan.

71.5.

71. Seven Hours of Tony Danza!

70. Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend related fatality.

69. Skin failure.

68. Without honor.

67. Being mistaken for a canteen and filled with soup.

66. Being buried alive.

65. Being buried alive in the same coffin as Gilbert Gottfried.

64. Rolled up in Katamari, turned into stardust.

63. Eaten by zombies, turned into a zombie, then eaten by zombie eating superzombies.

62. Deleted by God for having no redeeming value.

61. Allergic reaction to own blood.

60. Mistaken for a sockpuppet by extremely strong, stupid ventriloquist (WE WANT YOU!).

59. Substituting jellied petroleum for petroleum jelly during any number of personal procedures.

58. Not e-mailing this list to ten other people within ten minutes of the moment you finish reading it. If you do you will have da fame and fortune and all your wishes will come true and you'll see an animation starring the Taco Bell dog.

57. Crossing the streams. Don't cross the streams!

56. Choking on your own vomit.

55. Choking on Gary Coleman's vomit.

54. Vomit chokes on you.

53. Successfully dividing by zero.

52.5. Over-exposure to Redundancy

52. Pop rocks and soda triggered head explosion.

51. Mistaking that big round indentation on the Death Star for a very large, well lit, landing pad.

50. Severe head injuries inflicted by an Xbox controller

49. Reciting Pi to 10929473598 decimal places, causing your head to asplode from too much thinking.

48. Speaking with Dr. Phil for 6 hours straight

47. Paradox-related head explosion ---- ha ha! your head asploded!

46. On the toilet --- with a girlie magazine ---- after finding your angel is the centerfold --- goddamn those baby blues!

45. Genetically-modified hot dog eating contest with chilli and beans

44. Listening to Rihanna

43. Eaten by a shark

42. Eaten by yourself

41. Eaten by Oprah

40. Eaten by God

39. Drowning in a pool of Micheal Jackson's "Jesus Juice". mmm mmmmm! yummo!

38. Deleted for being unfunny and too short ---- as in "standard"

37. Severe Disco accident ---- Disco Stu discounts any claims, and refuses to acknoledge any court summons

35. Realizing that there was no 36 ------ the HORROR --- head asplodes

34.5. Reading 35 and not realizing there was no 36

34. Attempting to dig a hole to China.

33. Assassinated by Abe Lincoln and John F. Kennedy.

32. Eaten by a Grue

31. Overdosing on kittens

30. Being Paris Hilton's love interest

29. "I think we forgot the anesthesia!"

28. Being a rapper --- like Britney Spears

27. Living in New Jersey, and only owning a jumper

26. Suffering from unexplained severe skull fractures as the only person who can play the drums with their head.

25. Fatal Watermelon-related accident

24. Choking on air

23. Anything that involves cars, a condom, dead people, and fiery explosions --- like in that movie; Snow White

22. Attempting to carry on an intelligent conversation with George Dubya Bush

21. Deleted for being vandalism

20. Banned from life

19. Anything that involves a game of bingo --- Yahtzee!

18. Spontaneous Combustion --- just like spontaneous cheesecake -- very nasty

17. Eating until you asplode, and then asploding until there is nothing left to asplode except your braces

16. merdered cuz u tak like dis ---- n stoof, ya'll gut et?

15. For no reason whatsoever -- besides this reasn -- derr!

14. Trampled by a herd of gorillas on PCP.

1X. Choking on your own poop.

13. Heart attack.....


...At the age of 16 and 2/7ths and a half

12. Gaining super strength, but not super toughness then crushing yourself trying to bench a car on a park bench.

11. Philosophically disproving your own existence through existentialist relativism.

10. Fucking with Chuck.

9. Anything that ends up on YouTube.

8. Soul Cancer.

7.5.1.0 Cancer cancer- A disease where even your cancer has cancer! (just like when your pimples have pimples on their pimples!)

7. Teleporter accident, these are never pretty --- we went transportin'/cathy and aaron and meg/aaron got cathy's heart/i got george's leg ---- copyright JADYN THONE

6. Unknown, unloved and 50 pounds overweight.

-being breast fed at 27

5. Under a morbidly obese man (aka Sean Potter)

4.5 With s morbidly obese man inside of you

4. Inside a morbidly obese man.

3.1415 Eaten by math homework -- alive.

3. Driving a burning car into a burning building where they store chainsaws and acid and then the firemen come but they're actually alligators in acid proof fireman disguises and they spray you with vinegar and lemon juice and swallow you whole and inside the alligator's stomach is this little guy who's like "This is my home get the hell out!" and he shoots you with a shotgun full of rock salt and sicks his pet badger on you and saws your leg off and he kicks you out and you get a staph infection in the alligator's colon and you're pooped out into the sewer where you drown in filth and the city power main breaks and lands in your eye electrocuting you and your spleen explodes and you find out you have AIDS and a ninja turtle fucks you to death and now he has AIDS and you're covered in radioactive ooze and your ass becomes a mutant crab that starts pinching your ass and a hobo steals your skin and they take you to the morgue and freeze you to death and the coroner is that damn ninja turtle who fucks you to death again and gives you AIDS again and a spider lays eggs in your hair and they bury you alive and you suffocate and the bottom falls out of your grave and you fall into a bottomless pit and you go to hell.

2.5 Die while reading number 3.

2. Being too stupid to live.

1. Old age.

.5awsome! pissing off Italians (the weasaly bastards)

0. A friendly game of "Toss the H-Bomb" gone horribly wrong.

A photograph taken just before a tragic "Death by Emo" accident.

-.5 1/2 have anal sex with Hitler only to have him find out your a Jew!!!

-1. Death by Emo!

-1.27562. Having your internal organs gouged out through your eyes with a melon-baller.

-2. Over-exposure to Redundancy

-3. All of the Above. Occurring all at once.

-4. You die from eating Hannibal Lector (Hannibal Lector)

-5. You finally agree to eat something Martha Stewart makes (Martha Stewart)

-6. You get your hand cut off on cloud city and fall to oblivion, not landing on the strage satellite object thingy because YOU HAVE NO HAND TO GRAB ONTO IT (Luke Skywalker)

-7. You pick up the holy materia and Sephrioth attacks you (Damn Aeris, no matter how many times I replay that scene and tell her hes coming she NEVER LISTENS)

-8. You win the lottery, jump around outside and go crazy, only to be ran over by the big brown truck. (Richard Hatch)

-9. You star on Jerry Springer and Steve kills you. (Mini-me)

-10. You have so much gay sex you die of AIDS before you get done. (Richard Hatch)

-11. You make Dirty Harry's day (Punk)

-12. You arrive at the pearly gates and the great oen himself tells you to fuck off because you forgot bring the AV cable and the beer for the universal nerd party. (Bill Nye)

-13. Mr. T stops pitying you (you)

-14. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you to the face and then rapes you. (Everyone on the planet)

-15. You make yourself a Martyr by sacrificing yourself to destroy the greatest threat of the galaxy, only to be brought back by a dragon's balls so you can be killed again. (Krillin, Krillin, Goku, Goku, Vegeta, Vegeta, Gohon, Krillin, Krillin, That little white guy with a red dot on has head)

-16. Overdose of viagra (Richard Hatch)

-17. You didn't realize Pamela Anderson had AIDS (Kid Rock)

-18. You were forced to star on an Enzyte commercial with Bob. (Larry King)

-19. Satan spikes the punch and you fall in the lava. (Hitler)

-20. You are driving down the street when you encounter Bill Clinton on the side of the road with your mother. You immediately try to run them both over, but your mama is so fat the car bounces back and lands in the house accros the street. This house happens to belong to John Stamos and a very large emu. After the initial shock of seeing John Stamos raping an emu, Bill and your mama decide to pay a visit, making it a very big President/mama/gay/bird orgy. You cannot take it anymore so you run down the street to call the cops, only to find out that they have been taken over by umpa-lumpas and the black guy that always dies first in horror movies. You instead tells them of your plight, but instead of helping you they join the orgy. You continue on to another house to discover it belongs to The entire cast of Seinfeld. You thought they were all dead or in prison so the shock of the sight kills you on sight. As you walk through the pearly gates Bob Dylan (How did he get in heaven? Nobody knows) sings to you as god rejects you and sends you to hell. (Richard Hatch)

-21. If your black, you die after being forced to participate in the Winter Olympics. (Everyone in the movie "Cool Running")

-22. Drowning. It sucks, believe me (Moby's Dick)

-23 Having to read -20 or 3

-1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFtw7qW7Vcw

-24 Get stabbed by corn on the cob with salt on it

-25 Your inside a house when all the sudden your TV makes you watch an 13 hour infommercial thats about how you can make your cat dance but you realize you don't even have a cat so you say I WANT 13 HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK so you call the infommercial number but they say sorry we dont take visa but we will send a big fat sumo wrestler to sit on your head while your sleeping so then in 12 days you wake up and you hav poop all over your head because of the sumo wrestler that sat on it. Then you e-coli from the poop and you die

-26 Your in school when all of the sudden your teacher says STEVE GO TO THE BATHROOM but your name isn't Steve then you copy Pink Floyd and say "Hey Teachers! Leave them kids alone" Then you get arrested for plagorism and go to jail with Paris Hilton and she tells you your not hot so then you get plastic surgery and become hot and then Paris hilton goes out with you and poisons your tea and you die of skin desease

-27 You get hit by a bus...on the toilet.

-28 KILLER RABBIT *Killed*

-29 Reading either 3, 20, -25 or -26.

-30 All of the above...

  ...happening at once when you were 3.

-31 Being eaten by grues

-32 Singing the Llama song so fast you didn't know you were outside dancing like a moron. You then weep in a fetal position then an anvil falls on you. You were then forced to listen 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!s until your head asplodes, then you get marched on by a 1000 wheeler truck 60 times, a block with the first 16938479283478392479847 numbers on it, a llama, the moon, Oscar Wilde, Ultra Jesus, Rosie O. Donnell, Oprah, Dr. Phil, IE, Mozilla, Opera, Safari, Maxthon, A heavy sumo wrester, and a float with the Black Parade, a bowl of gherkins, 300000 grues, and a pot of guacamole. The grues notice you, and eat you, in which point, falls into a room full of TNT. Grues ask "What does TNT mean?", then explode. You hit Jupiter, in which you sink into and then explode.

-33 Reading this whole page 34 times.

-34 Death by Michael Jackson

-35 Death by Bruce Lee

-36 By standing next to a wall and then having the Kool-aid guy come crashing through it screaming "Oh Yeah!!!"

-36.5 Over-exposure to Redundancy

-37 Finding your virginity

-39 Getting Drunk and passing out in front of a crack whore who takes advantage of you while you lay there in the street then having the crack whore shove a tampon down your throat which will expand and cause great pain. You will only awaken in time to die a painful death of suffocation.

-40 eaten by ROSIE O'DONNELL

-41 Going to Wal Mart to buy some groceries, but all of a sudden Jimmy Hoffa pops out of the ground and starts ass raping your car, and then a bunch of Grues come and have a big fat orgy with Unicorns and rainbows all over the place and then that SAW guy starts joining in on the giant rape/orgy and then pikachu and some uber 133t wizards come and Pikachu starts hitting you with his thunderbolt and the wizards start casting frotz, which then kills the grues and ends the orgy...but then just when you thought it was over Dr.Phil and Oprah come with some barbarians and they start preaching to you about how ass raping dogs is not the right thing to do and you should be ashamed of yourself! But then Oprah starts to eat everything in sight and Gumby comes with an AK-47 andcd pwns all of them and you wake up with a pair of Paris Hilton's underwear on your head and their is all these little mini grues dancing around you. And then you die........But then Barmey and elmo ambbush you when you get into hell and they steal all of your stuff and then my little pony rapes you and you get Herpes.........and then oyu die again and join the four horsemen of the apocalypse(teletubbies) in the 2nd hell. where they sit there and laugh at you and call you a fucking pansy and they chop off your head over and over again and you cannot do anything about it, and then you wake up in some desert in Arabia and this camel comes and shits all over your face, and then you die of old age......

-42. Death while reading 3, -20 or -42

-43. You go to a club feeling lucky for the evening, only to realize that Dirty Harry is the doorman.

-430303490385947826058791489835968539254724886 Being raped by Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jacko's pet Bubbles, Rosie O'Donnell, Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, Hannah Montana, George W Bush, Marylin Manson, Oprah, Dr. Phil, ur mom, ur face, and a pig wearing a tutu and everything above is happening to you and raping you at once in a Wal-Mart inside Michael Jackson's Neverland the size of a grain of sand in a purple unicorn tornado in hell.

-44. Your sitting in the crowd at a Guns n Roses concert when your mutant crab of an ass tells you that shamu died, and you go on a rampage, but then Adolph Hitler comes back to life and starts humping Slash and everyone seems slightyly distracted for the time being, then a mob of emo hamster start beating the living shit outta you, then you wake up in a Wal Mart parking lot and you find yourself being chased by a bunch of rabid Mexicans who start chucking crusifixes at you then you trip over a land mine and get your ass blown all the way into Oprah's lap where she starts attempting to breast feed you but you jump up and fall into a giant cave where a bunch of albino midgets start chanting your name then you grab your rifle and pop one off one by one, when all of a sudden a toad comes up to you and smacks you across the face yelling "OUTLANDER OUTLANDER, then your forced to do probation work in Iowa and eventually commit suicide....THEN YOU DIE O_O

-45. seeing how far you can fit your fist down your throat, then choking on it

-46. looking at your mom and suddenly having your head a splode.

-47. Over-exposure to Redundancy

-48. while watching brokeback mountain

-49. Getting ass raped by Lance Bass TWICE!

-50. Being forced to watch your mom get ass raped by Lance Bass

-51. Challenging Miami Seaquarium

-52. Being strapped to a chair at the Missouri state captital, while all the Backstreet Boys each give you a quickie

-53. Forced to sit on Michael Jackson's lap while he's dressed as Santa Clause in the middle of a Mexican walmart

-54. Death by Tom Petty, dont ask how

-55. Death by massage from Oprah

-56. Fucking your computer and catching a virus.

-57. Being buried by Steve Ballmer

-58. Eaten By those mother F*king snakes on that mother F*king plane

-59. Getting sat on my Mrs Bornand till you asplode

-60. Being sodomized by a Giant Redwood tree

-61. Dieing of laughter while watching a Hitler speech to the sound of 'Angry German Kid'

-62. Committing suicide after your grandma catches you getting of to goatse.cx and asks to help you finish off

-63. The Aristocrats!

-64. By Heart Attack when you realise that you spent so much time reading this list when your boss is looking over your shoulder. (HE KNOWS YOUR ON THIS SITE)

-65. By being eating by a Kangodzilla

-66. Getting your stomach filled with super glue