Xubuntu

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“I have the need-the need for speed!”

~ Tom Cruise on Xubuntu

The mouse smokes crack.

Xubuntu is a version of Ubuntu designed for three types of people: poor people who can't afford fast computers, speed freaks who need Linux to run uber-fast in order to compensate for its flaws, and people who don't like KDE, GNOME or the bash shell, even when Xfce is really just GNOME on crack.

1 Orgins
2 Creation
3 On the Server
4 Future

[edit] Orgins

The concept of Xubuntu was first founded during a drunken IRC session on #ubuntu-dev channel. The log went something like this:

markyshuttle: y'know, i just don't think ubuntu and kubuntu are fast enuff mann...
buntudev: whatdaja mean?
oss_crowd: yeah, and all the buntus now make my head spin
linustovarlds(daGIT): fcuk u alls
markyshuttle: Shut the fuck up Linus, and fuck off back to #kerneldev
rms: Hey, infdel, I'm inclinded to agree with with fat shit on this one
markyshuttle: So what? you're the fucker who came up with the the whole fucking 'by nerds for nerds
shit. how the fuck am i meant to make a fucking profitable linux distro out of the fucking BNFN   
proto?
oss_crowd: wtf? canocial is in oss for the money?!?!?
markyshuttle: no, fuck no, that's not what I fucking meant!
rms: yes you did
markyshuttleworth: no I didn't
rms: yes you did! 
markyshuttle: no I didn't
rms: yes you did!!
canocial_legal: The views of Mark Shuttleworth are not necessarily those of Canocial Inc.
oss_crowd: WTF? MS is Canocical Inc. 
canocial_legal: No he isn't. He's a fat South African shit who's been in space.

[edit] Creation

Xubuntu was released alongside Ubuntu, Kubuntu, Edubuntu and Whatthefuckarewegoingtocallthenextfuckingbuntu version 6.06, codenamed 'Drake the Dyke'. While some had complaints about its colour scheme being to close to Kubuntu's, most where seduced by the free crack on offer with every download. BitTorrent users were pissed, when they discovered that the deal did not apply to them. They responded by posting lots of pictures of Mark Shuttleworth with a Russian Cosmonaut, in a highly compromising situation.

[edit] On the Server

“YOU FUCKING STOLE IT! AGAIN!”

~ RMS on Xubuntu's speed when used as a server, even with a GUI

Xubuntu is googling fast when run as a server, even with a GUI. Mark Shuttleworth recently won the right to throw a pie in the face of RMS at the 2006 OScon, due to a bet that a non-graphical Debian GNU/Linux server (the only 'real' Linux in RMS's eyes) would perform faster.