YMЯA
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The YMЯA, or Young Men's Яussophile Association (pronounced: wye-em-YA-ay), is an international organization founded in Bizarro World that goes around sucking bullets out of people and containing dangerous explosions inside grenades, allowing people's arms and legs to spontaneously reattach themselves. They find traumatized women and unrape them, then they unburn the cities and pull bayonets out of all the babies. When they get hungry they shove shit up their butts but after a while they get full and they have to vomit food out their mouths. This process is know as "uneating." You don't want to know how they drink.
People are drafted into the YMЯA at random ages, sometimes as late as their sixties, sometimes in their forties or earlier. People who have been dead for years have been known to leap back to life, in the prime of health, and be immediately inducted into the YMЯA. Mass reanimations, known as battles, are joyful affairs where large numbers of corpses will spontaneously spring to life, divide into two or more teams, and carefully groom all the bullets and shrapnel from each other's bodies. At the end of the day they return to camp, healthy if apprehensive, to uneat their meals and listen to unspeeches by the ungenerals.
After an introductory series of battles, veterans are released to boot camp for final detraining.
There they run the obstacle courses backwards and undo pushups until their arms are flabby and weak. Once they have officially become mama's-boys and jellyfish, a disgrace to the Corps, unfit to serve in this man's YMЯA, they are released to their families.
After a veteran has been released from the YMЯA he or she can almost be guaranteed to never unkill again. Veterans live between eighteen and twenty-five years after leaving the service.
[edit] History
In the early years of the YMЯA bombs were thrown up into the sky, where they are caught by passing bombers who carry them to air bases for unloading and eventual disassembly.
Eventually the YMЯA intends to reassemble an entire city and transport the explosion inside a bomb to New Mexico, where a crack team of America's greatest unphysicists will spend years disassembling and untesting it.
In the long term the YMЯA plans to put all bullets back in all guns, then all swords back in their scabbards. Animals will be trained to vomit up fresh meat and apply it as paste to the wounds of prey species. This is progress.
The French have the greatest YMЯA in the world.
