Yamcha

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Yamcha. If there is one character who we all have overlooked from the series Dragon ball, it's him. We never did find out what he truly was as a person though... but now, it has all been found...

[edit] Yamcha: The life Story

Part 1: Birth

Once, long ago, there was a beautifull little couple of cupkakes. All was well, until the male cupkake decided to rape the female cupcake. When he was all done, she pulled out a cleaver and confiscated his genitals. Permanently. Then, 2 days later, a huge man came up to her, and did the same thing male cup cake did to her. 2 days after that, she had a baby. He came out a man, with very long hair. They named him : Yamuchia. But, americans who learned of his existence could not pronounce this name. So they sued, and he was renamed, Yamcha. He killed his mother and went to the land of the long haired rejects.

Part 2: Land of the Long Haired Rejects

When he went to this land, he found many odd things. Like a giant male genital with lots of hair, the MSN logo with long hair, and, a drowned fish. Yamcha killed himself.

He was taken care of by the small creature: Poire. She thought that, if she farted loud enough, he would come back to life. And it worked. Then he woke and they became the best of friends. She had a little brother, but when she farted, his skin went bad. So now he lives in the valley of the leapers.

Par: 3: Goku.The Menace.

Then one fatefull day, he met the goku boy. Just a youngling at the time. He asked him to leave him and poire alone. When he said no, Yamcha tried to hit goku. Poor Yamcha was sent flying to the skies above. He came rocketing down and landed...in the...well...there is that woman...that...BULMA creature... He landed in beetween her tits. Then Poire landed on the ground. None of the sources of information told us exactly told us just WHAT she did to him, but we do know that he is half blind in one eye, and he has a little dent in his spinal chord. Poire farted him back, and Goku's gang took him in.

After this, the story has been told. But there are a few little tidbits, that still NO-ONE knows...

[edit] The Rape of the Bulma Creature

One day, Yamcha decided that his first few incidents with Bulma weren't enough. He found her sleeping one evening after she successfully hacked into the planet earth with her computer...and. well, she was all tired...Yamcha krept up behind herand replaced the blankets with himself. And guess what. Many years later...Bulma had a baby. Delayed by the fact that she always took birth control, she had a baby Trunks. This,was supposedly, the baby of Vegeta. Well,Since she WANTED to have a baby then, she stopped with the birth control. Yamcha did it again, right on time. Yamcha is the father of Trunks. However, the reason Trunks has Super Saiyan Traits, is because with all of Vegetas power, he managed to fuse his sperm with Yamchas. A joint effort, one may say.

This is what happens when your power level is over nine-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!

[edit] The Beach Boys

Yamcha was very very excited at a certain "High" time of his life...and decided that he would use Bulmas computers to bring all the Beach Boys back to life. (By this time in history they were ALL DEAD.) He joined in the band, and made some hit singles such as: "Cocaine!!!mmmmmmmmm-MMMM!!!" and "See Ya in Hell, Bush!!!" and there was also: "Blame Global Warming!!!" However, they died again. Yamcha got depressed and became temporarily emo. BUT!!! POIRE!!! He asked her to fart in their faces, and they really did come back to life!!! He made one more single with them, and they started noticing that...his voice had this little "Toasting Flesh" quality to it. So they kick-a-ted him from the band. He tied them up and told young Goku that they were just manequins. Goku was very upset when he ended up imploding the skull of the first guy, so he stopped. Yamcha took out a shotgun and fired it up their asses. They died.

[edit] The Coke Farm

Yamca ran cocaine out of his garage for many many years, and eventually was so rich he decided to go buy a car. A CAR. RICH. YAH, OKAY. Anyway, he went and bought the sweetes Hover car on the earth, and he had to go on a 25-Year lone to pay it off, with all his wealth given in the first payment. It turns out that he was selling the coke a little to cheap. 2 dollars a gram in fact. He was a little, well, monstrocitized when the car got blown up by one of GOKUs enemies. And don't get me wrong, he still cleaned windshields day and night for the rest of his life to pay it off.