Yes
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- You might be looking for the band, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and not even know it.
- However, it's even more likely you were looking for the band, Yes. Well, they're not here. I think they went to get some dinner.
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[edit] Dylan Andrews!
Woah its dylan andrews!
- Only after dinner and a movie.
- The movie can be substituted with any large cash expenditure.
- Dinner can be substituted with lunch.
- In certain circumstances, cash alone may be used.
[edit] Biography
Andrew Lloyd Webber is currently writing a musical based on the word "Yes". When asked about its release, he said: "Yes is gonna be released soon".
Steve Howe, the best guitarist of all time, led Yes through tough times and cold nights and single-handedly prevented Yes from becoming No.
[edit] History
The Flying Spaghetti Monster invented the word "Yes" when His Noodlyness created all words of affirmation in response to the Petition for Words of Affirmation and Positive Assertions created by a group of angry parents and midgets. This event occurred shortly after the creation of the universe in the Big Bang and/or Big Boil.
Although "Yes" had been invented, nobody knew about it and therefore it was not used. Eventually, "Yes" was discovered by the famous English wordsmith William Shakespeare when he needed an answer to the question "Are we there yet?". This question was posed by his children during a philosophical debate taking place in Shakespeare's 1586 Camaro. This was not the first time Shakespeare had heard this question arise from the back seat, but in all of the previous cases he was able to truthfully respond either "No" or "Goddamn it I said shut up!". Then, suddenly, Shakespeare realized that they were there. He promptly responded with the first known utterance of "Yes".
Jesus, learning about this word through his powers of telepathy, immediately attempted to take credit for its discovery. At first, the public believed Jesus's claim of using advanced ventriloquism to make it appear that Shakespeare said the first "Yes", but his allegations were discredited by photographic evidence showing Jesus to be unconscious at the exact moment of declaration, as a result of a recent cocaine binge. Several religious groups were so outraged at such a blasphemous slandering of their One True Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that they boycotted the word "Yes" and all associated products. This boycott was one of the main events leading to the banning of "Yes" in Pepperland during the tyrannical Blue Meanie regime.
Angered by his tarnished reputation and loss of glory, Jesus passive-aggressively created a band with the name "Yes" in an attempt to secure a copyright of the newly-found word. This band played the music of the rocks in a progressive manner. Fortunately for Shakespeare, Judge John G. Roberts Jr. ruled against Jesus's copyright and sentenced Jesus to three and a half hours of community service. Unfortunately for Judge John G. Roberts Jr., Jesus kicked him in the face and stole his favorite hat. Jesus then attempted to steal a firetruck for a kick-ass getaway car chase but was unable to successfully hotwire it, due to his colorblindness and inability to tell which of the wires were red.
[edit] Rape Prevention
"Yes" can also be used to prevent rape, according to the "Prevent Rape, Say Yes" theory popularized by the United States government in the late 1980's. Using eductional pamphlets and television public service announcements featuring Bono, the government attempted to educate the public about the benefits and correct uses of "Yes". Popular American child molestor Michael Jackson claims: "I would have raped the kids if they said yes, but they said no, so I raped them anyways." And, remember kids, it's not rape if you enjoy it!
[edit] No Substitution
The word yes can also substitute for the word no when it comes to someone bossing you around. For example, teenagers may find themselves being asked, 'Have you cleaned up your room?' while watching a very important show or playing XBOX. As a teenager, of course you haven't cleaned your room yet, but when you answer back 'YES' instead of 'NO', theres a 98% chance they will get off your back about you cleaning your room. This may also be categorized as 'lying' but not really, since your just delaying the truth or whatever.
WARNING: Substitution for NO may result to job firing or an increase on chores due to its lying aspect.
