Igor
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Igor Smith serve as loyal minion to 1337 mad scientists and counting. Igor world-renowned for lab assistant position. But Igor humble soul.
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[edit] Earliest Years
Igor born in small town in Transylvania. Igor always have swollen eye. As a child, Igor's eye laughed at. Igor not like this. One day Igor throw nitric acid in bully's face. Bully not laughing much any more, ha ha. Bully not got much of a face any more. But Igor, yes. This why Igor type "ha ha." Igor get nostalgic.
[edit] Earlier Years
Igor forced into corporate world by stubborn parents at age of 15. Igor find job as veterinary assistant, but Igor frighten three animals into comas. But Igor highly praised. Comatose animals easier to operate on. Igor work long time, until caught eating patient. Igor think funny (and tasty), but veterinarian disagree.
Igor thrown onto street, jobless and homeless. Jeered at by passersby. Igor not mind. Not really. Igor stay calm. Imagine repeatedly stabbing passersby in neck. This make Igor calm.
[edit] Early Years
Igor probably die in cold but for first mad scientist. Mad scientist called Dr. Ted Fury. Igor like name. Scientist hire Igor work as secretary of potions. Fury try to conquer world with special sleep potion. Igor help much. Igor mix potions, Igor bring refreshments, Igor answer telephone and file income tax forms. Fury very good to Igor, and Igor serve well. Igor not sure why Igor bash Fury's head in with brick while Fury asleep. It just one of those things, you know? Igor admit, Fury's brain taste good, but Igor also unemployed again, which make Igor sad. Igor leave Fury residence with heavy heart and heavier high-definition TV. Igor's back still ache at memory.
[edit] Less-Early Years
Igor's next boss named Filbert the Great. Igor not sure why Filbert call himself that. Igor not on same wavelength as Filbert. Igor try to please. Igor say, "Yes, master." Igor say, "Whatever you say, master." But Igor really think master could get himself own damned orange juice. Sometimes Igor want to do bad things, but then Igor swallow happy pills. Then Igor okay for while.
Filbert the Great work on master plan of satellite hypnosis, where everyone in world do as he command. Igor not sure why Filbert want this, but Igor assist with speed. Then one day Filbert make flippant remark about Igor's mother. It true that Igor's mother not pretty. It even true that Igor's mother resemble horse. But it not right for boss to say that. Igor not say anything. But later that night, Igor accidentally lock Filbert in safe. Then Igor accidentally spill gasoline on floor, and accidentally light and drop match. Igor leave hurriedly and watch lair melt into puddle from distance. Igor not happy, but Igor accidentally grin anyway.
[edit] Less-Earlier Years
Igor once work for great Doctor Frankenstein. Igor like Frankenstein. Frankenstein funny man. Frankenstein always playing pranks on Igor. "Hey Igor, what that on your shirt? Doink! Ha ha!" Frankenstein always doing things like that. One day Igor have idea for own prank. Frankenstein ask for brain for patient, so Igor give Frankenstein "abnormal" brain instead of "normal" brain. Ha ha! Igor so funny. Igor sad to see brained monster kill Frankenstein. Igor cry long time. Igor barely able to muster enough strength to carry Frankenstein's laptop computer to pawn shop.
[edit] Lesser-Earlier Years
Igor work for many scientists and all mad. All dead now, too. Igor not sure if it his fault or destiny. Igor not want to become mad scientist to find out. But Igor's resume beginning to look suspicious. Igor not know why Igor does these things. Igor like mad scientists. Igor not mean to kill mad scientists. Igor just want caress mad scientists with sharp metal objects. Is form of affection. Igor just misunderstood.
[edit] Least-Early Years
Igor want to retire. Igor want to sit around all day and watch reruns of The Munsters. Igor like Herman. Herman funny, and look familiar somehow.
