Yoshi

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Yoshi throwing a grenade. Nintendo took a picture and turned it into a brilliant marketing scheme.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Yoshi.

Yoshi (Yoshipodicasaurus poupeggius) created by yoshimotto komoklakloto, a little imp living in a cave. Yoshi is the third last lizard species alive, after Ducks and the Statue of Liberty.

1 So, what is a Yoshi?
2 Uses
3 Where to find them
4 Notes of Interest
5 Yoshi's Story 2
6 Yoshi's Rape Charges
7 Yoshi vs Baby Bowser
8 Yoshi's appearance in Visual Media
9 See Also

[edit] So, what is a Yoshi?

Controversially, Yoshis are actually unwanted human babies. On occasion, normally after a few spiffs, one can find oneself in an uncomfortable, strange, odd, needing, compromising, delirious, fast-breathing, nude, illegal-if-underage situation. This uncomfortable, strange, odd, needing, compromising, delirious, fast-breathing, nude, illegal-if-underage situation that one finds oneself in on occasion can, inadvertently, find oneself having unwanted human babies. These babies are then thrown out into the wild in enormous, terribly loud ceremonies in which the babies are painted green to celebrate their independence, then thrown out into the wild to go and eat berries though they have been known to cannibalize there young. For offspring, see Baby Yoshi. But sometimes Elephant man has a baby and happens to look like yoshi. Many People try to ride elephant man's children and end up going to jail

[edit] Uses

Donkey Kong pleads for oral next.

Yoshis are an extremely useful species. They can be used as a doorstep, as a fire hydrant, lightning rod, stapler, secretary, Cheerios box, website, stress ball, Yoshi, pencil sharpener, homie, lamp, baked potato, weed killer, dog leash, lightning rod, lightning rod, lightning rod, lightning rod, lightning rod, condom, diaphram, IUD, potato, PCP, pot joint, seal club, vodka dispenser, cocaine, lightning rod, dildo, bongs, rocket launcher, space station, and offtune pianos. They also make excellent sandwiches, either as chef or filling. On one memorable occasion, Oscar Wilde was able to get a single Yoshi to act as both. Despite it all, Yoshis do not make good time machines, but they make great lightning rods. And salad dressing. You can also "ride" on Yoshis, and should you and Yoshi are about to fall into a pit, just jump off the Yoshi to gain enough momentum to jump to safety, although the same can't be said for your unfortunate dinosaur steed. The best thing to do is just watch what happens to the Yoshi....

[edit] Where to find them

Yoshis can be found all throughout the world, trapped in their eggs, usually in yellow depots marked with a symbol. They also made a brief appearance when Yoshzilla, the giant Yoshi, went berserk in the middle of Rakjavik, eating around four-hundred and seventy four point three people, before he was taken down by a sleeping tranquilizer holding around nineteen-hundred Metric Shitloads of stuff, he was then moved to a distant island. Yoshi are great for centerpieces. But they can be stubborn if used as lawnmowers. The two most obvious places to find a Yoshi are Europe and Japan. There is also a large Yoshi population on Yoshi's Island.

There wasn't a law about Respect to all yoshi's, so they were killed in various ways. after about world war 2, a law came so only working yoshi's are allowed to not be killed. Now, if anyone kills yoshi for no reason or deliberty, they will be feed to Yoshzilla. Ironiclly the only yoshi killed after this law was the one whom hurt the president's teddy, he was then killed by the dead yoshi's brother.

[edit] Notes of Interest

Before lowering his self-worth the videogame arena, Yoshi was a self-taught & self-respected Snuff Film artist.
Like all creatures who have stared in Platform games, Yoshi's are regularly accused of being fascistic. This is because the end of level 'goal' is located at the extreme right of the playing area.
They are known to throw their children at enemies, killing both. Caution is advised.
Some Yoshis are known to wield Sniper Rifles to compensate for a lack of long-range combat.
They were cloned by Dr. Von Fungi utilizing an ancient egg found by his team of scientists.
If you hit a yoshi on the neck HARD, it will stick out it's tongue and consume anything that touches it.
Certain species of Yoshi are actually talking green Motorcycles.
A bunch of Yoshis have diabetes (usually type 2).
In Soviet Russia, Yoshi rides YOU!
Any Yoshis seen in the wild should be approached with caution. It is widely known that they bite extremities.
Yoshis are difficult to have human relation talks with.
The Green Yoshi that is a good friend of Mario (sometimes known as simply Yoshi or Super Dragon Yoshi) doesn't have HIV/AIDS or diabetes.
Yoshis can breath fire if they eat red turtles. They may also cause large, high powered earthquakes after eating yellow shells.The latter has lead to the destruction of Tokyo, Nintendotown and Segaville.
Pink Yoshi is not gay. Not gay.(YES HE IS)(NO HES NOT!)(OH YES HE IS AND YOU CAN SUCK IT!)
Some people believe that all yoshis are originated from the mother yoshi, Mario's friend, this is believed because when Mario and yoshi fell down a large hole (true) they were there for a few hours with an easy way to get out. It is unknown why it took them so long to get out. DR.Mario has discovered that on the underside of every yoshi's tail there is a small capitol 'M'.
It has been recently discovered by the leading scientific minds that the eggs Yoshis throw at their enemies, friends, family members, and allies are actually choked full of Twinkie Cream...or at least something that looks and tastes like Twinkie Cream. -cough-
The sound Yoshis make is actually the sound of angry Belgians having a fight with a washing machine.

[edit] Yoshi's Story 2

Created by the reincarnation of Hitler and the robot from "Lost in Space", it was designed to create World War III. The game mainly consists of brain-washing other Yoshis, marching down streets while throwing eggs at Jews, and saving Will Robinson from the clutches of Baby Bowser. Seven days after completing all three levels, the reincarnation of Hitler will crawl out of your TV and convert you into one of his Neo-Nazi regimes.

Level 1: In Level One you must rally up your brainwashed Yoshis and invade Poland. The level does not end until Poland is completely wiped off the map and when you have eaten 30 Yummy Gummy Sunshine Fruits.

Level 2: Soviet Russia counterattacks but before you can fight them you must power up by collecting 6 Sappy Mushy Sunshine Hearts and also sacrifice two virgins to the Super Happy Tree which will cause the Soviet Army to puke out flowers until they are no more.

Level 3: In a last act of desperation the Jews and Baby Bowser kidnap Will Robinson and you must save him. Enlist help from Italy and Japan to storm Baby Bowser's Castle. Once you are in you must battle Jon Stewart, Gilbert Goddfried and Krusty the Klown. Then you must make your way through the long and repetitive corridors. Then you must battle Baby Bowser, but don't worry- you have infinite health! After you beat Baby Bowser, Will Robinson declares you the Supreme Ruler of the Aryan race and flies off to join the Starship Enterprise and is never heard from again.

The Enemies are:

1: Kosher Shy Guys - Good enough for Jews to eat.
2: Kamek - Self-proclaimed rabbi.
3: Singing Jewish Assassins- Welcome to your doom, Mazaltov, Mazaltov!
4: Baby Bowser -Yet to have a Bar Mitzvah.
6: Gilbert Gottfried - Was so annoying the Jews disowned him.
7: Krusty the Klown - Hey, hey!
8: Jon Stewart- Took time off to save the Jewish race.
9: Frankenstein- he left hebrew school because vhe would be picked for this.

[edit] Yoshi's Rape Charges

On August 29, 1996 Yoshi successfully raped a woman in NYC. He used his tongue a lot... On September 4, 1996 He was sentenced to 2500 Hours of Community service and has been busy helping Mario save Peach ever Since...

[edit] Yoshi vs Baby Bowser

“I CAN PWN BABY BOWSER!!!11”

~ Yoshi on Baby Bowser

“I CAN PWN YOSHI!!!11”

~ Baby Bowser on Yoshi

“CREATE EGGS NOT WAR!!!!11”

~ Hippie Yoshi on Baby Bowser

Both Baby Bowser and Yoshis hate each other, but the former would usually kick the other's ass. The rivarly usually ended up on the alternate Universe of O rly?, but when Yoshi took the first hit,Baby Bowser started to bleed!Then Baby Bowser hit him back.Then Yoshi started to bleed.Then they both beat up each other.Then Pikachu butted in.So Yoshi and Baby Bowser beat him up for no reason.

[edit] Yoshi's appearance in Visual Media

Famous Yoshis have starred in several video games for Nintendo Entertainment consoles. These titles commonly involve Yoshi parenting small children through various brightly coloured locales, and have been strongly criticized by religious and other degenerate groups. Most notably, Emperor Benedict Palpatine of the Carthogenic Church claimed during a keynote speech at E3 2006, whilst attacking the DS title Yoshi's Island DS, that 'it is unproductive to teach Nintendo owners basic parenting skills, as they are all either fat chicks or raving faggots'. He also criticized the developer's unwillingness to implement touch screen functionality.