You are
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Although not as prominent as Teenage Inversal, Russian Reversal, and Your Problem, You Are is one of the most effective argumentative techniques known to man. Any insult directed at you can be rendered completely useless by replying simply with "You are."
[edit] Basic Use
Like the holy trinity of unreason, You Are is as simple to learn and use as it is effective. When someone makes an offensive comment towards you, reply with "You are." This can be used to devastating effect, as seen by these examples:
- "You're uglyer than i am."
- "You are."
Or
- "You're the stupidest person I've ever met."
- "You are."
[edit] Making Sense
Note that making sense is definitely NOT a priority of You Are, and the word 'Are' should not be replaced with any other. For example:
- "You like to dress up in women's clothes and watch donkey porn."
- "You are."
"You do" would be completely inappropriate and should NOT be used. Anyone saying "You do" should be kicked in the groin.
[edit] Exceptions and variations
You Are can however be modified for situations where the preceding comment was not an insult. If someone makes a comment in conversation that is innocent and simply meant to make an observation, be polite, or even just make smalltalk (the possibilities are endless), variations on You Are can make for a scathing attack, whether it was called for or not. Usually not. Example:
- "Hey look, the ball went over the fence."
- "You're a ball." Or
- "You're a fence."
However, in these situations it is important to note that the reply was still a comment as to what someone is, not what they do or did. Had the preceding exchange been:
- "Hey look, the ball went over the fence."
- "You go over the fence." Or
- "You went over the fence."
then the replyer should be punched in the face. Repeatedly, and until he is unconcious. You should then get Satan to poop on his chest. Using "You" or "You're" in the first way is called THE LAW OF YOUR. LIVE IT. LEARN IT. DO IT. BALL SAAAAAAAC
