Youranus
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Youranus is often confused with the seventh planet in our solar system, counted from the Sun. Counting from the other way it might be the second, third, or any other arbitrary number depending on which astronomer you get your information from. Youranus is a gas giant. Its symbol is 
. Sometimes, when it feels like it, though, Youranus changes its symbol to what looks to mere mortals like Bill Cosby's head.
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[edit] History
Disclaimer: this section contains bad puns. Sensitive readers are advised to look away.
Youranus was first discovered in 581 BC, by the Greek astronomer Arsetotalass, although its existence had been suggested previously by several philosophers (Platonis and Stayoutmypantis, amongst others). Although Youranus had been observed before, it was always mistaken for a black hole. Arsetotalass was the first to describe Youranus as a dark circular object accompanied by two moons and following a set trajectory around the Sun. He also observed large craters on its surface, suggesting that Youranus had been penetrated by large meteors on several occasions. The discovery of Youranus greatly expanded the boundaries of our known universe.
The discovery of Youranus caused a lot of excitement amongst scientists. The scientific community turned to Youranus in great numbers to gain more insight into its appearance and behaviour. Scientific journals were soon bombarded with papers describing fascinating new aspects of Youranus. It was found that there are rings around Youranus, that Youranus exuded large amounts of toxic gas (which meant that one would probably not be able to breathe when near Youranus), and that from several locations near the equator Youranus was visible with the naked eye.
Inevitably a lot of scientists disagreed on several of these findings. For instance, according to some the surface of Youranus was rough and barren, whereas others claimed it was teeming with life. Some scientists even claimed to have observed a tunnel going deep into Youranus, suggesting intelligent beings had at one point lived on or inside Youranus. This claim was later disproven by a French research team who charted and analyzed the rim of the crater thought to be the entrance to Youranus. Their rim-job conclusively showed that Youranus was penetrated with great force by a large object that had originated from deep space.
To this day, Youranus is a popular research subject, and if you look up Youranus on the Internet you will find that many people are actively probing to uncover its secrets. One can only assume that Youranus tickles the imagination of many. Who knows what we will uncover from the depths of Youranus in years to come.
[edit] Youranus and the Church
Religious institutions have warmly embraced Youranus from the moment it was first discovered. The Catholic Church considers Youranus to be a gift from God, to remind all of us that we are but small specks in the vastness of His creation. Scores of priests and acolytes would spend their free time gazing at Youranus, and Youranus is prominently featured in many religious works of art. It is prophecied that at the End of Time a great cloud of toxic vapors will pour forth from Youranus to burn the unbelievers.
[edit] Physical characteristics
Youranus is primarily composed of gas, whereas its interior mainly consists of heavier materials. Its characteristic colour is due to the absorption of red light by the huge amounts of methane gas. Youranus most likely has a low surface temperature, though it will be warmer inside Youranus.
Due to its position and tilt, most of Youranus never gets exposed to light. Occasionally, large eruptions of gas can be observed from Youranus, thought to be caused by thermal energy building up inside Youranus and forcefully bursting out of Youranus whenever magnetic storms wipe across the surface of Youranus.
Youranus can be seen with the naked eye and will appear as a faint star, but only under the right conditions. Sometimes you can even glimpse a flash of its moons. Several observers have sighted a pale nimbus around Youranus, and recently some have claimed to see clouds appearing around Youranus, spawning wild rumours of possible colonization of Youranus by aliens. But that might be stretching it a bit.
It is scientifically proven that Youranus releases a certain amount of brown solid substance when it gets bored.
[edit] See also
| Planets |
|---|
| Confirmed (Solar System): Freddy Mercury / Mercury | Venus | Luton | Earth/Lyons/iEarth/World | Disney World | Planet Hollywood | Mars | Planet Google | Globe | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus / Youranus | Neptune | Magrathea | Pluto (planet) |
| Confirmed (Exosolar): An T'ark-Ti'kah | Uncyclopedia | Discworld |
| Dwarf planets: Ceres | Pluto | 2003 UB313 | |
| Unconfirmed: Garnox | Mantoobia | Unicron | Boob |
| Denied by CIA: Urth | Irk | Krypton | Michigan |
| In a galaxy far, far away: |
| Members of the Federation: Vulcan | Earth | Qo'noS | xxEarth Cxx |
| Loner Planets: Planet A | Planet AAA! | Wisconsin |
