ZOMG

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O RLY?

“ZOMG ur such a n00b u ju$t got pwn3d w00t!! kthx”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Internet

ZOMG (including its variant zomg in lower case) is a commonly used Internet Interjection (or Inin, or II) with a meaning that could range anywhere from "Wheee!" to "Aaaaigh!" to "Whaaat??!!!"

1 Origin
2 Where the "Z" came from
3 Usage
4 Pronunciation
5 Notes

[edit] Origin

Zomg run!!!!

The term ZOMG is derived from the common instant messenger (IM) abbreviation "OMG" ("Zeus owned my geodude", or for the conscientious objectors, "oh my gosh"). The first Americans, shortly after the landing at Plymouth Rock in 1620, were suddenly able to practice any religion they saw fit, and therefore began swearing constantly. The need for a quick, trusty IM swear word was soon felt far and wide, and thus was coined "OMG".

Some progressive intellectuals suggest that "ZOMG" has actually strayed from this original meaning, but most of these people were forced to ride around naked on bicycles with no seats until they recanted, so the traditional meaning remains the same. Most people recanted after the invention of the pot-hole by Bill Gates in 1911.

[edit] Where the "Z" came from

Various theories exist to explain how the letter "Z" became attached to the beginning of "OMG". The general view until 1903 was that it stood for "zerglings". Some people even contend that zoo keepers used it as an acronym for, "Zebras, oh my God!!!" whenever their zebras would do a monthly jailbreak and stampede out of the zoo. Naturally, it was written by hand and passed with notes before the invention of the internet and subsequently instant messengers.

With the invention of the game StarCraft (Blizzard Entertainment) came a new flood of new, overused abbreviations, such as 'gg', 'gl hf', etc. As the development of this game came around the same time that the "Z" began appearing, a correlation was generally assumed. However, in 1903, Chinese political leader and communist visionary Mao Zedong, at the time ten years old, strictly forbade the usage of the "Z", which quelled all discussion of the matter. Eventually, however, Mao got so ugly that he couldn't even look at a computer screen without causing it to shatter, and he was unable to enforce his rigorous policy.

Passion over the subject was inspired again in 1943, when Italian physicist Enrico Fermi published his famous essay "Concerning StarCraft." However, this was also during the time when the .mpeg format for video files was invented, which made downloading porn so easy that it was almost a requirement of all internet users. As StarCraft faded into the background, Fermi's essay aroused almost no public interest, so the origin and meaning of the "Z" remain mysteries to this day. StarCraft is still used to relief work stress to this day.

Some people also say the "Z" came from Zorro's natural enemies, the Nazi Pirates, because when he whipped out his metallic light saber, they'd say "ZORRO! OH MY GOD!" Most people stopped referring to Zorro when he became the 119th element (Zorronium). Then he went on to kill himself because he wasn't famous anymore.

[edit] Usage

The term "ZOMG" is used at any point of a conversation when an unnerving event occurs, such as when a Cheeto {Cheep ho) or a dorito (dirty ho) walks in to a public bar. Another event could be when you get so baked with cheese nips that you start to see fuzzy monkeys, later identified to be a youtube-syle Bigfoot covered with cheesy poofs and chocolate pancakes. This was discovered by a Indian prince who discovered the true values of World of Warcraft.

It is also used by Brazilian gamers who can't actually speak English, but somehow still know when and how to use it. Even this bit of neurological science fails us however, as archaeologists have now found that "ZOMG" was also used in ancient cultures to classify shapes of clouds, as cloud-watching was the prevalent spectator sport of that era.

[edit] Pronunciation

1. (tzō-mī-GÄD)

Or, as 'Oh my god' sans spaces and with 'z' sound.

It may be helpful to imagine that you are a horny teenaged girl while attempting to pronounce this acronym. If you are a teenaged girl who disputes her horniness, don't bother. It will come naturally.

2. (ZÄMG)

Phonetic, as spelled.

3 (zō-em-JEE)

When you can't make up your mind.