Zapruder film
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Zapruder Mordecai Filmaratti was the fifth-and-a-half president of these United States. Born in Italy to Italian parents, he is well-known for suggesting a Cuban Missile Crisis-based system of government and misspeling the Civil Wor.
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[edit] Rise to Prominence
Unlike the other deaf, dumb, and blind kids, Zapruder could not play a mean pinball. So he caught Pacman fever. Unfortunately, he was not vaccinated, and it nearly cost him his life. Since it didn't kill him, however, it made him stronger than ever, and he emerged as a young Theodore Roosevelt. He led the Soft Riders during the Spanish-Pan-American "Wor" (as he called it) and charged victoriously up the wrong hill. After America was briefly conquered by Spain, he served as scapegoat for Generalissimo Francisco Franco and was nearly executed. Franco's secretary mispeled it as spacegoat, however, and he was freed.
[edit] Riding the Wave of Prominence
Perhaps Zapruder's greatest triumph was in 196-aught-3 when he activated his powers as the third Wonder Twin and took the form of...celluloid, with which he captured the assassination of Johnny "Oodles" Kennedy. From then on, he would no longer be the last cowboy. He would be the only cowboy.
[edit] And the rest...
Zapruder only came out retirement twice: once, to help a young kid looking for a break to become the next heavyweight champ, and again, when contractual obligations required him to. He settled down to a lush retirement in a champagne supernova in the sky.
[edit] Trivia
- Zapruder had several buildings named after him, including a tailor in Dallas and a schoolbook depository in Texas City.
- Zapruder eventually went on to become the strip solitaire champion of the universe.
- His autobiography, If I Did It...and You Can Too! was written by Edgar Allan Kabibble.
- You thought it was safe to go back into the water.
