Zergling City
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[edit] Zergling City
Zergling City came into being when The Zerg Overmind decided to invade Earth via Wormholes. Meeting extreme resistance by ninjas and pokemon masters, The Zerg Overmind and the impure strains of Zerg (Everything other than the zerglings) were promptly owned and a mutated pokemon master named FlareonFurry assumed complete control of the new horde. Using stolen Forerunner Technology and a mixture of assassinations, casual sex sessions, and Zergling rape, FlareonFurry managed to create a spherical City capable of traveling through the Earth in Forerunner-built Tunnels. FlareonFurry imparted much knowledge into his half-zergling/half-Flareon offspring, and after teaching the zerglings how to build Pyramids, he let them practice on the surface in Egypt. When they had become skilled in the creation of pointless monuments, he had them build much cooler pyramids in his new underground city. The pyramids within Zergling city are made of Ridulan Crystal, which is much cooler and much more expensive than the unimportant materials that made up the "Practice Pyramids" built by the Zerglings. (Because zerglings lack the capability to draw correctly, the drawings inside the practice pyramids are to be considered unofficial and classified as unofficial scribblings of an alien species. The hieroglyphs on the walls are actually pictographical representations written in ancient Engrish.) Because the only inhabitants of the city were FlareonFurry and his Zergling brood, the megalopolis-to-be came to be known as Zergling City.
[edit] Location
Zergling City is the current fortress of FlareonFurry, overlord of the Zerglings. It is currently located deep underneath San Francisco, but has the capability to move to multiple other places below the planet's surface through the use of a hidden network of tunnels built by the Forerunners. It is said that only Zerglings and Ninjas are capable of accessing this legendary city, but members of an extremeist group known only as "Furries" claim to be able to visit this city and have animal sex with zerglings. This theory is yet to be confirmed, as nobody has ever attempted animal sex with a zergling and survived (Other than FlareonFurry). Chuck Norris once attempted it, but instead died in a spasmic fit, which induced a roundhouse kick so powerful that he was transported back in time before he decided to rape the Zergling, and instead roundhouse kicked it.
[edit] Currency
As in Japan, the currency used in Zergling City is Hentai, and due to the fluctuating price of hentai in other countries, Zergling city occasionally has to send zergling-ninja hybrids to the surface in order to harvest Noobs, which are burned as fuel to move the city around. Any noobs that survive this ordeal usually end up being jettisoned through the Internet Tubes into hell (It is theorized the hentai is also the common currency in hell). Some hentai is worth more than other "normal" hentai in Zergling City.
- Hentai (Humans) Normal Currency
- Hentai (Furry) Worth 2 Normal Hentai
- Tentacle Hentai (Humans) Worth 4 Normal Hentai
- Tentacle Hentai (Furry) Worth 5 Normal Hentai
- Hentai Drawn by Dr. Comet (Furry) Worth 6 Normal Hentai for color, 2 for sketch.
- Orgy Hentai (Normal) Worth varies depending on the Coolness of the Picture.
- Orgy Hentai (Furry) Worth Negative Amounts, because there's no such thing as a good furry orgy picture.
- Fanart Hentai (Sonic, Renamon, Pokemon, etc.) Worth varies depending on quality and subject.
(Due to inflation of Renamon hentai, it has devalued, while hentai of Flareon Furries has risen sharply in worth in Zergling City, as well as tentacle schoolgirl hentai.)
These worth values are subject to change as more types of hentai are circulated through Zergling city.
[edit] Divisions
Zergling City is divided into 13 distinctive districts. The reasons as to why it is divided into such districts is yet to be revealed by FlareonFurry.
[edit] Time
Zergling City, being underground, is incapable of operating on the "normal" time scale used by inhabitants of the surface. (That 24-hour-day setup that totally sucks.) The city instead relies on a completely different system, as shown below.
- 70 "Seconds" per "minute" (Saera, the rough equivalent of 4 seconds)
- 70 "minutes" per "hour" (Saeraz)
- 140 "hours" per "day" (Saerazeal)
- 592 "days" per "year" (saerazaz)
Zerglings are capable of staying awake for an estimated 3 Saerazeal, which contributes to the myth that they don't sleep.
[edit] Gravity
Because of the spherical shape of Zergling City, multiple artificial gravity generators were implemented in order to keep Zerglings firmly planted on the "ground". These gravity generators are set up in such a way as to produce a Zero-Gravity zone in the core of the city, allowing the Power-generation Cells to function properly (they fall apart in normal gravity). It is possible, when the power cells aren't running on overdrive, to see from one side of the City to the other, but not in great enough detail to be able to distinguish any zerglings, due to the large diameter of the city. This spectacle of Zergling City is said to have inspired J.R.R. Tolkien's idea of Mordor.
[edit] Alphabet
Zergling City, being isolated for as long as it has, has devoloped it's own system based partly on the Japanese Language. (This kinship with the Japanese language is due in part to the Ninjas that frequent the city, which is also a popular place for roof topping competitions.) As of yet, nobody has been able to completely decipher the Zergling script, and some speculate that it might simply be a derivative of the ancient Forerunner dialect.
[edit] Laws
Multiple laws are present in Zergling city, the most prominent among these is the strictly enforced "No Dialup" law. Under this law, any persons found with a dialup connection to the internet are immediately executed and ejected through the internet tubes into hell. FlareonFurry himself was kind enough to provide Uncyclopedia an exclusive list of laws currently affecting the city. The list shows only a portion of the multiple laws that are in effect, but is supposed to "Give a general idea" of "how we roll down here".
[edit] Incomplete but sufficient list of laws
- Extermination of all dialup users shall be strictly enforced
- Inhabitants of Zergling city will not harm ninjas
- Ninjas in Zergling city will not harm Zerglings
- Catholics will be denied entry to Zergling City
- Ghetto Culture will not be tolerated.
- Inhabitants of Zergling City will view non-inhabitants as inferior species, with the exception of the Japanese.
- The drinking of alcohol in responsible amounts will not be tolerated.
- All media is to be censored by a team of experts, hired from the staff of sexyfur.com.
- All Zerglings must meet or exceed the requirements on the ZCIMS (Zergling City Instrument for Measuring Standards) test.
- Furry Friday is to be shown the proper respect.
[edit] Population Distribution
Because nobody really cares about how the Zerglings in Zergling City are spread out, there is no legitimate information on this subject. However, it has been theorized that the Zerglings, if hard pressed for space, can burrow underground to escape detection and allow passage for other Zerglings. This ability is often used to gain access to underground hentai vaults that Zerglings sometimes raid during Lunar Eclipses (Because everyone is too busy staring at the Sun and Moon to notice).
[edit] Zergling City in Popular Culture
Zergling city has recently debuted in multiple video game trailers, the most infamous of which being the Halo 3 Trailer (where the gates to Zergling City are seen opening so that an army of Ninjas can destroy the covenant invaders). If one looks hard enough at the back of a 7 dollar bill, they will also notice that the caption on the bill instead says "In Zergling City We Trust". The United States Treasury has denied the official existence of the 7-dollar bill, but controversial proof of it's existence has lead to political debates and nuclear warfare between China and Russia.
