Zetsu

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I remember him, he was extremely difficult to defeat in Super Mario Sunshine

~ Oscar Wilde on Zetsu

I was hoping Carnivine would evolve into something so much cutier. Instead I got this

~ James of Team Rocket on Zetsu
Zetsu doing what he is best known for, nothing.
Zetsu doing what he is best known for, nothing.

Zetsu is some plant guy from Naruto. He is your typical plant guy; sits out in the sun all day and does nothing, loves to blend in with flowers, and performs photosynthesis once or twice a day. Oh and aparently, he suffers from Two-Face complextion (where one half of his body is black and evil while the other is white and good) making him a rather difficult person to get along and talk with. He is currently employeed by Akatsuki, a organization who's entire staff is made up of mostly freaks much like Zetsu so he fits in perfectly.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Zetsu.

Contents

[edit] Early Life

A typical day for Zetsu during his childhood days
A typical day for Zetsu during his childhood days

Zetsu was born in the Mushroom Kingdom where he was immediately hired by life long loser and overgrown turtle Bowser as one of his Piranha Plant soldiers. Basically, his job was to sit in a pipe all day and pop in and out and to kill Mario with one hit just by touching the pesky plummer. Of course since he wasn't the type that shot out fireballs, he was easy prey and found himself constantly crushed underfoot by Mario and his slightly more popular brother Luigi. Following his constant failures, Zetsu left the Mushroom kingdom.

Years later, he would reappear in the hit show Pokemon as one of the 150 (or was it 250? 450? Ugh, who really cares? We lost count after 151) different pocket sized monsters (with similar movesets). He was captured by Team Rocket's girly man and on and off again closet case James. Of course, Zetsu didn't find much success in this role as he would constantly get defeated by Ash and his Pikachu. After many years of constant electrical burns, mental scars from having to live with James, and massive head trauma from having to deal with Jessie's bitching, Zetsu faded out of the pocket monster scene.

He would wander around for many years till he was recruited by Hannibal Lecter as one of his disciples. It was through Lecter that Zetsu finally broke out of his pushover shell and became a bad-ass plant warrior. Of course, due to Hannibal's teachings, Zetsu became cannibalistic and it was through these teachings that he began suffering from two-face complexion (named after the Batman villain of the same name). After learning all he could learn from Lecter, Zetsu turned on his former mentor and ate him.

Years after that, Zetsu finally was recruited into the ranks of the Akatsuki were he became third in command (right after Pain and Tobi).

[edit] In Akatsuki

Being as how his only noticeable traits are standing in the background, spying, and eating the remains of his fellow teammates, Zetsu would go on to do pretty much nothing in his time with the organization. In fact, the only notable thing he did for the organization was hire professional head case and self proclaimed "good boy" Tobi. Of course, he would regret that decision later on.

Thank god they put this on him every night or things would have gotten messy
Thank god they put this on him every night or things would have gotten messy

In his freetime when he isn't acting like a coward or eating people, Zetsu enjoys sitting out in the sun doing absolutely nothing, talk to his other half, and play old school Nintendo games. On occasions, Tobi will want to play with him, but Zetsu would constantly refuse. In addition, Zetsu is forced to sleep in a straitjacket and face mask to prevent him from going into any other member's chambers at night time and eating them.

[edit] Present

Zetsu hasn't really done much lately. He continues to perform his daily routine and does some spy work for his organization. He did have the honor of being the only person to witness the climatic clash between fellow teammate Itachi Uchiha and his younger emo brother Sasuke. Of course, although nobody at the moment knows how the fight will end.

Zetsu, along with his fellow teammates competed at Wrestlemania XXX where they were pitted against the nWo in a "New World Order" match. Akatsuki would go on to win the match and then go on to annihilate all 50 washed up members of the nWo. The organization has not made an appearance with the WWE since.

[edit] Abilities

At the moment, nobody is sure what his abilities are. From what we've seen thus far, it seems he really doesn't have any noteworthy traits other than turning invisible and cannibalisim (although the former can be used in many positive ways). Of course, considering that he is insane, one can only guess if this deranged plant guy is just merely looking like a complete pushoever on purpose till the day he finally goes balistic.

[edit] See Also

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