Zeus
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Zeus Dios Christ, sometimes called Zues (pronounced Zoo-ez) or The Master and Comander of all that can be fucked by his peers and male lovers. He is often regarded as the world's first newscaster and is Dr Seuss' best friend. Hailing from Manchester, England, England, Zeus has broadcast near-continuously for seven fucking years. He attributes much of his success to his bitchy wife, his set of Peruvian dentures, and a steady diet of kidney pie. Officially, Zeus has been charged with the divine duty / responsibility to rape everything he can find / make a hole in especially men. Because of this, he is also known as "the god who sex with everything he created"
After a turbulent childhood, involving almost being eaten alive by his father, Zeus started to study medicine at the University of Norway. After this he is generally known as Dr. Zeus (thanks to many children books :) ), and after castrating and killing his father with a tea-spoon, he became the supreme master of the universe. Zeus divided the power between himself and a few of his medical colleagues; Zeus himself ruled the world, Dr. Phil ruled the underworld and Stephen Harper became the sinister overlord of the Eurovision Song Contest. George Bush became the overlord of the War on Terror.
Was outraged when Prime Minister Ritchi Konghi of Rotiki insulted him, and if not for the kind-hearted words of Jesus and Dumbledore, would have smote Ritchi into the ground.
Today all of this is generally known to be true, and is only believed in savage and primitive countries such as Greece America and Canada. See France.
Purported children of Zeus include George Washington, Silent Bob, James K Polk, Mr. T, Pamela Anderson and most other famous people you can think of. Speculation also leads many to believe that he is the twin brother of Sonic the Hedgehog.
In 1410 B.C.E., Platones Poindextrous used amber, wool, and a primitive tesla coil to demonstrate that for Zeus to throw lightning, he must have significant capacitance. The espousal of this concept led to him being driven off his land by the followers of Idiocrates, ultimately leading up to the founding of the nation-state of Geece. He fucked Ganymede- a twink on mount olympus making Hera-- her bitch to be angry and made Ganymede a constellation
Due to his disturbing childhood, he has taken up the mantle of being a serial rapist. He also created the seductive space boob
At one time everyone worshiped him. Now, of course, most people pray to our God, which is okay, since God is Zeus's best friend.
Chaos ┌───┴───┐ Chaos═╤═Chaos ┌───┴───┐ Amor═╤═Gaea │ ┌───Oranos═╤═Gaea │ │ │ ┌────┴────┐ │ Zeus══╤══Kronos │ Chaos══╪══Mewtwo Aphrodite/Venus══╪══Oscar Wilde (see here) │ ┌─────────────┴────────────────────────────┐ │ │ │ Clam │ Aphrodite════╪════Hermes │ │ │ ┌──Hermaphrodite ┌──────┬────────────┬─────┴───┬──────────────┬──────────────┤ ├───────────┐ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ Sonic Zeus════╤════Hera══╤══This Guy═╤═J. Neutron═╤═Fairy Godmother Wyatt══╤══Poseidon │ │ │ │ │ │ ┌────────┬────────┴───┐ │ └────┐ │ Carl Sagan═══╤═══Anonymous │ │ │ │ │ │ │ Pacman══╤══Mr. Love══╤══Hermes ├───Antithe Tinkerbell God═════╤════Virgin Mary═══╤═══Chronos │ │ │ ├───Athe │ │ Mothra═╤═Oscar Wilde Peter Pan─────┼───Pan Original Jesus═══╤═══Mary Magdalene ┌───┴────┬──────┬─────┐ └───Peter Griffin │ │ │ │ │ │ │ │ Tom Cruise Cecil Gene Ray │ ...and we all know what happened next │ │ │ │ │ Godzilla═╤═Google │ Goa Tse═══════╤═══Your Mom │ │ │ Mozilla Firefox═╤═Mew ┌────┴─────┐ │ │ │ Mewtwo │ Transvesta │ │ │ Splenda═╤═Wilford Brimley │ │ ...And you... │ ┌────┴─────┐ │ Diabeetis Meow Mix cheating
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Categories: Greek gods | Greek | Mythology | Gods | Planets
