Zordon
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Zordon (July 15, 7973 B.C. - June 5, 1998 A.D.) was the giant floating head that created the Power Rangers. He was a corrupt wizard trapped in a time warp by an his rival named Rita Repulsa. Zordon and Rita were friends until Zordon discovered that Rita was brainwashing people by giving away free cars. She even tried to conquer the Galra Empire and overthrow King Zarkon. This angered Zordon and he plotted to imprison Rita in a dumpster for the next 10,000 years. Rita was furious and retaliated by trapping Zordon in a time warp, making him appear to be a giant head inside of a tube. She also created Hurricane Rita.
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[edit] Early years
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Zordon was born over 1,000,000 years ago to an Amish farmer and his wife in Eltar, Quebec, Canada. He lived on the farm until he was 15 and ran away from home, moved to Utah, and converted to Mormonism. It was at this time that he met his first two wives, Donna and Marie. They married in 81 B.C. and divorced two years later amid total humility and bad career moves, including an ill-fated Zordon rap album released that same year.
Zordon decided to convert to Buddhism in 79 B.C. after being fed up with the strict lifestyle of Mormons. He then took a job as a stand-up comedian, to much success. He kept doing stand-up even after Oprah turned him into a giant head back in 8007 B.C. He even got his own HBO special in 1992. Below is a clip (Warning: Strong language!)
After this highly successful special, Zordon became a closeted gay after having his gay lover Alpha move into the Command Center with him. Zordon and Alpha had known each other since they were babies. but after that mr yashiki rescued them and then raped both of them his recent campaign was described as passer by jake clayton: "errr, i think he could win against the other dude"
[edit] Power Rangers
In 1993, Zordon and Alpha recruited a team of teenagers with attitude known as the Power Rangers. They were Red (Jason), Blue (Billy), Pink (Kimberly), Yellow (Trini, an Azn girl), and Black (Zack, who, ironically, was already black).
They battled Oprah and her monsters until she was overthrown by an evil skeleton dude named Lord Ed.
The Rangers were headquartered at the Command Center. One day, when Zordon and Alpha were smoking pot and getting high, Zordon came up with the idea of adding a Green Ranger named Tommy.
Zordon loved machines. He even watched Voltron and Super Sentai and invented his own version of the robots portrayed on those shows -- the Zords, which can be connected to form the Megazord! The Megazord actually bears a striking resemblance to Optimus Prime.
[edit] Modus Operandi
The Power Rangers are Zordon's elite special forces group. The Power Rangers pose as mice disguised in human form during the day, and come out to become metal rock stars at night, and, uh, I guess super heroes. Zordon made them swear never to show their rodent-ish identities to humanity, not even to their friends, Oscar Wilde, or even Cheese. As time went by, a bunch of kids decided to try and imitate them, ending in failure, stupidity, and an excess amount of crushed hopes and dreams. Mmm. Tasty. Yummy !
[edit] Things he created
-Earth -Good -Evil -Power Rangers -Hockey -Jesus -Flying Potatos
[edit] Death
Zordon died in 1998, supposedly from choking to death on a ham sandwich. What Alpha did was open up the tube and feed Zordon; this usually took place while the Rangers were summoning their Zords and all that nonsense.
A memorial service was held, and everybody from Alpha to Billy Graham to Lord Zedd attended.
[edit] The Second Coming
Rumors have surfaced lately at a Potato Conferance in Idaho, that a giant glass tube was erected *snicker* in a barn in Washington. This glass tube has caused many theories but the most frequent is the one over Zordon's second coming, which was hinted at in the Book of Revelation.
Revalation 68:346 And ye, a man and his slaves, dressed as sodomites (gay people), Rose from the abyss of canceled television programs.
[edit] Presidential Candidacy
On 11 November 2007, Zordon announced his intentions to run for president in 2008.[1] All of the Power Rangers are said to be backing his bid. Currently, he has .0000003% of the votes, but people say that is apt to change. He is up against Hilary Clinton, Barack Obama, and Mitt Romney.
He is running on the Green party ticket.
