Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Zsa Zsa Gabor was born in mystery to a Flemish goat farmer in 1470, Zsa Zsa Gabor worked through hard times to become Flemland's most noted microbiologist. She was the 54th United States president.
She moved to Spain in 1492, where she invented the light bulb and joined Christopher Columbus on the Titanic's maiden voyage to the West Indies. On this voyage they had 65 children and set them loose in a Canadian countryside, where they mated and eventually became ostriches.
The Titanic crashed when it hit Ice Cube as she was filming the unfinished movie Bitches and Hoes, a comedy about a pimp who becomes a corn husker in Nebraska.
Columbus (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) died on the voyage but was not nominated for an Academy Award. Kate Winslet was not available for comment.
Shipwrecked, Gabor ventured inland, where she found a small band of pirates who called themselves "pilgrims". They worshipped Gabor as a fallen god, sacrificing turkey (and, alledgedly, an Indian named either Satchmo or Sasquatch) in her name. The Indian shed a single tear before teaching her a secret method for sexing bees.
She led this band well, eventually creating the largest army in the world. Upset about taxes on tea, they declared war on Louis XIV and eventually defeated him, thus destroying Communism.
She died April 13, 1992 after having a stroke listening to a New Kids On The Block album purchased by her 18th husband, Moe Brondum.
Some say that she was a famed actress renowed for her split personality. Despite all evidence to the contrary, she would go around claiming to be three different sisters: Groucho, Gummo and Bea Arthur.
Zsa Zsa was one hot mama, back before electricity.
Her achievements include the German TV show, Schoolhouse Rock, and the films: This is Boring, Where's the Booze?!, The Aristocats, Glue Velvet and the timeless classic Dude, Where's My Car?.
Often she was found stating this famous quote - "With my legs wide open I may conquer the world!"
| Preceded by: Bill Clinton 2 | President of the United States 4277 AD | Succeeded by: Madonna |
| Mythical United States Presidents |
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1st Eris Discordia → George Washington Carver → Billie Jean → Ruby Tuesday → Escape Key → Spark Notes → Jayson Blair → Garfield → Elvis Presley → 10th Thomas Jefferson → Michael Jordan → Ronald McDonald → Doris Day → Ayn Rand → Kermit the Frog → Teddy Ruxpin → Aretha Franklin → King Kong → Barbie → 20th Escape Key (2) → Fillard Millmore → Grover Cleveland → Harper Lee → Grover Cleveland (2) → Beetle Bailey → Grover Cleveland (3) → Abraham Lincoln → Chevy Trailblazer → Elton John → 30th The Unknown Bassist → Satan → Nicole Ritchie → Billy Ocean → Calvin Coolidge → Tom Cruise → Charles Nelson Reilly → Bill Clinton → George W. Bush → 40th Dick Cheney → Saddam Hussein → Ashlee Simpson → Emmanuel Lewis → Calvin Klein → John Kerry → Lyndon Baines Johnson → Jerry Seinfeld → Oprah Harpo 5932 → Bill Clinton v 2.0 → 50th Zsa Zsa Gabor → Madonna → Me → Your mom → Jesus H. Christ → Teeth → 56th Bob |
