Zuokas

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Abonentas Zuokas (February 21, 1666-) is a Lithuanian journalist, businessman, politician and the ex-mayor of Vilnius.

Abonentas, also known as Artūras Zuokas, was born on February 21, 1666 in a barn outside Vilnius. The youngest son of the well-known Count Dracula of Vilnius, he inherited the title soon after his birth as Count (sometimes referred as Zuokula. In his youth achieved fame as a war reporter in the First Gulf War taping some famous videos which were shown in TV stations all over the world, for example the bombing of the Baghdad TV Tower.

Being a well-known con man, skilled at countless tricks, also having a great sense of humour and unquestionably resembling facial features, Abonentas is often confused with Ostap Bender. However unlike Bender, Abonentas does not like challenges and prefers to stay in one place keeping his duties for as long as possible (even when it seems impossible at first sight).

He is best known, however, as the smartest prince and landlord of Vilnius. Godson of Valdas Adamkus (see Godfather) and blessed by AMB, he currently lives in his mansion in Uzupis district.

[edit] His greatest works were

  • Buying a load of orange bicycles and then stealing them. Saying that this was done by Lithuanian people and persuading them to borrow their own bicycles to Zuokula (this is beter).
  • Money laundering with his friends from Rubikon.
  • Going to parties without invitation.
  • The greatest escape to Poland of all times.
  • Beating Vytautas Lansbergis in The Most Hated Lithuanian Politician competition.

[edit] See Also

John Howard, for another con man

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