Zzaardvark
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The Zzaardvark, "Aaaba Zzzyzzxy", is the most deadly predator in the mysterious Scrabble Jungle of Africa. Nestling in the Ykzanxo Trees, the Zzaardvark lies in wait before pouncing on it's prey, either an innocent Jeek or a vowelous Eeuaa. Because of it's ability to take down even the most hard to pronounce creatures, it is widly considered the most dangerous animal in the known World, even more so than London Zoo's deadly Mayfair Lizard, Uncle Moneybags.
[edit] Morphology
The Zzaardvark's size is unusual in that it varies on where it lies. While lying down early on can double it's length, sometimes stretching over a red patch of ground can as much as treble it's size. In these rare cases, the creatures tend to reach anywhere between 10 and 12 tons, and get to be about 27 feet long. They have the ability to shuffle at random, despise the letter "Q", and can only reproduce with the aid of a little known fruit known as the "Blank Tile".
The females of the species are slightly smaller, and found in the less well known Travelle-Scrabble Jungle, famed for it's potholes and awkward spaces. Males and females have the same range of coloration, anywhere from drab green to saucy pink.
[edit] Habits
Humanity does not know the zzaardvark any other way then through archeology, Most say that this creature died out many years ago during the 1970s, when those who tended them for hours at a time, trying vainly to see how large they could possibly get, discovered video games and kitten huffing. Many, though, speculate that the beast is still terrorizing the Jungles, aided by the anorak-wearing tribes who dwell there.
Male zzaardvarks take territory, and fiercely defend it from their own kind. These territories can consist of anywhere from only a few, to well over seven square miles, although an area of that size constitutes fifty points on the Bo'Ness Scale. The larger alpha-zzaardvarks will always have more territory than the runts, but the borders of the zzaardvark states are always changing, usually when a bold zzaardvark strikes out and claims a territory right beside an alpha, slyly claiming what the first fought so hard to create while claiming the double marked territory as his own. The zzaardvarks play out a bitter game in their Native Jungle, of scrambling and extending, catching and claiming. It is hard to know what will become of these curious creatures in the Modern World, although it is perhaps best to take the word of expert Giles Branneth, when he says that "Zzaardvarks are playing a fiendish game, and one which, let me tell you, never bloody seems to end."
[edit] (Might be) Facts
- The zzaardvark is the last animal in the dictionary.
- The zzaardvark is the patron saint of people who come in last place.
- Joanie Loves Chachi


