Today's featured article
WASHINGTON DC, USA -- As part of his transition to the White House, newly elected president Barack Obama has had a number of difficult decisions to make. One of the decisions Obama has faced is the type of furniture to buy for his new home. In past administrations, the selection of presidential furniture has not received much media attention, probably because it's a rather trivial thing to write a news report about. But Obama's choices of furniture have been closely scrutinized.
Obama took several weeks to decide on what type of cabinet to buy for a small dining room off the oval office. He considered several choices, including a mahogany display cabinet, perfect for displaying small figurines and dolls, and a kitchen cabinet that would have stored spices magnificently. In the end, he decided on the same cabinet in which Bill Clinton stored the disembodied brains of his political opponents during HIS presidency. (more...)
Yesterday's featured article
Canadians, or Canadianus Beerbellius, are the descendants of castaways of two pasty European nations, England and France.
Back in the day, England and France each had one problem: French people and English people, respectively. While their first solution to the problem (varying degrees of war with each other, themselves, and other countries) had successfully led to the death and mangling of untold thousands over the centuries, neither country had yet managed to annihilate the other.
A new solution had to be found. Great minds in both countries sat and pondered, eventually coming up with the brilliant ideas of more war and bigger war. These were tested on a small scale but proved unsatisfying, unsuccessful and unsomethingelse.
War, unfortunately, had two crippling disadvantages; dead people from war, and protests from the people who would end up as dead people in the next war.
A new new solution had to be found. Preferably one that involved some place far away...and what place was farther away than Canada? (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ...that you... Please read the Beginner's Guide, and please be funny and not just stupid. You agree to license submissions under CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0.
- ...that Adolf Hitler was most famous for his art and acting talents, as displayed throughout his life and during the European World Tour 1939-1945, when he liberated Poland from Jewish influence, liberated France from incompetent rulers, and liberated Austria from itself?
- ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
- ...that the League of Nations was the first and least successful Collegiate football conference?
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In the news
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- NASA declares war on tool belt; Hexagon mission against it fails, due to Obama image.
- Medvedev discovered to be possible marionette.
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On this day...
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December 4: e-nternashonal Badt Ingrish Daiye
- 1999 BC - l337 5p3ak 15 kr34t3d
- 39 - Al-Gorirra e-nvants da eenterned
- 50 - ikzackly 21 yeers efter Al-Gorira eenvintid zum eenterned, sumwon joopt NickedSrev, und das stratted der ifNet vvs. IRC|IRACnet. Menny moad 'em daee in da bat-less.
- 1697 - Breetneyish proofessoor koyn fraze : "De raheen een Spaheen stais maheenley ahn tha plaheen."
- 1776 - Da You-S de-feat Ingrand een Teh Wor off Eendie pen dance
- 1918 - Wootroow Weelsoon, taht vas zum presidant zum der Ooonitid Steeeets, goeing tu Verseis en sa-id sheep too speek off piss toks vith teh kontrees, hoo fuight en WWW1.
- 1951 - Generel Mcarther deliverz hees "Oold Soldjers neffer dye, dey jaast faid aweigh" speajh tew Kongress
- 1963 - Marteen Looter Keeing deeClaires "Wen wee lett fureedum rin', wen wee ledt eet rin' fum evrie veeleij adn evrie hams, fum evrie steit adn evrie sitty, wes gots'ta bee eible t'spiid dauwn dat daiye wen oll uh Gutt's cheeldrun, bruthas doodes adn haunky menn, Jawas adn Gentailles, Prostatetants adn Cat-o-holics, gots'ta bee babble t'joyn hans adn crapp inn de wo'ds uh de ould Nee grow spyrittual, "Phree utt lust! Raiyt owng! Phree utt lust! Raiyt owng! Dank Gutt All mitey, wii iz phree utt lazt! Raiyt Owng!"
- 1978 - Warld's ferst dees-eyeble porking spays creeaytedd.
- 1999 - Sum idyot furst zpealls "owned" vronglee ass "pwned"
- 2001 - Oustraleeuhlund beets Nu Z-lya ein Tset Circket.
- 2004 - Georgio Dubya Bousch got re-eelickted. Phool mii wans, schaim un mii... uh... ya won phool mii twies! No moore eeliction pour Bousch.
- 2006 - Und Jeebus sayd undo da poepple, "Whoom doo yoo tink eye am?", und da poepple repped, "You are the exhiological replication of our being, the vast immiturication of a higher homosapianism, the essence of zoology.", und Jeebuz sez, "Eh?"
- 2007 - en soviate ruzia gramarz badz youz!
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| Colonization of the Week
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Wal★Mart
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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